Marketing Maayaajaalam

It's payback time!

2012-01-28T19:08:00.001+05:30

Hindu Muslim clashes be damned…for a while. For now, the fun and focus is the Hindu TOI war! Boy, is the Maha Vishnu of Mount Road taking the Times of India for a roaring ride or what.

No one expected The Hindu to react the way they did. Agreed the TOI sledged The Hindu first. The Hindu, surprisingly, reacted by making a few changes to their paper - content, style, presentation etc., something I even talked about here earlier.

But I didn’t expect The Hindu to come out with a hard-hitting campaign to retaliate TOI’s sledge. Damn; here is a brand that had never even advertised once in their 135+ year lifetime; far less taking a competitor head on.

Should The Hindu have reacted like this? Have they reacted right? And what next?

Before I continue, a few caveats are in order. I subscribe to both the papers. Though I admit I read The Hindu first. I am not a big fan of this paper anymore. I think it is left leaning, anti-BJP and Jayalalitha and losing its neutrality a bit, and shows a soft corner for Congress though not much of late. But when it comes to quality, writing style, use of the English language and depth of coverage, The Hindu stands tall and unrivaled. TOI is not even a shadow of an English paper, far less being comparable to The Hindu. Truth be told, TOI is at best a glorified vernacular; a daily film magazine; and a dignified porn pamphlet.

So, one day, the TOI takes on The Hindu accusing it of putting the readers to sleep – by their choice of news, the lush language they use and their aversion towards anything sensational. The Hindu reacted by adding a few new genre of supplements, adding a certain kinds of news that they had never covered earlier and eased their headlines a wee bit, without dilution of its famed richness.

And then, has come this Hindu Kolaveri!

My initial reaction, when told The Hindu has come out with a series of ads to counter TOI, was ‘disbelief’ and ‘why did they?’ I still believe The Hindu shouldn’t have even legitimized TOI with a retort. Maybe The Hindu’s research, assuming they did one, led them to believe seeds of suspicion being planted in the minds of young adults by the TOI campaign. Maybe The Hindu decided to react – lest they lose a whole generation of new readers who would end up growing with TOI. So, yes The Hindu probably was justified partly, am still reluctant to be whole hearted here, to take on TOI.

That aside, the choice of target audience for The Hindu’s campaign, I should say, was bang on. Young adults – who are increasingly being gleaned away by sensationalism and trivia at the cost of sense and knowledge. One could see a distinct degradation of the English language in the mouths of the young, the lack of depth of knowledge in their heads and a misunderstanding of what’s important for their jobs, careers and lives. I am the least bit being philosophical or judgmental. I am only worried these traits would affect the young adults’ chances of survival in these competitive times.

And therein lay the crux of The Hindu’s campaign. It is talking to a generation that’s growing up soaking nuisance masquerading as news and nonsense dressed up as current affairs, and choosing a paper that glorifies it. The Hindu’s campaign has been spot on. Readers of TOI are losers and hollow!

But then, one of the cardinal mistakes of marketing is to tell the target he or she is wrong. Even worse, term them idiots. The Hindu campaign, in a blatant way, does just that. Would that intimidate the TOI reader?

But then, I don’t think this Hindu campaign aims at weaning away the TOI reader. Maybe it shouldn’t either. The TOI audience is different from the Hindu’s. But what Hindu’s campaign does, and what I think The Hindu should continue to do, is to put the fear of God among the undecided and paint a picture in their minds the perils of preferring a newspaper that personifies hollowness and utter lack of depth. If that can be achieved, a whole new generation of users would feel cool and sensible to pick The Hindu. That would arrest the growth of TOI in the South. Which incidentally is where I think this campaign would have most of its effect. I doubt if the North, where The Hindu has been traditionally weak at best and non-existent at worst, would ever witness a shift in preferences.

Now what next? For starters, I expect TOI to take The Hindu to the court. The viewer could easily pick up the dumb characters in the ads mouthing ‘TIMES OF INDIA’; the beep sounds notwithstanding. It’s for the courts to decide if this can be termed disparagement.

And TOI will react. After all it’s the largest English daily. They might resort to statistics – how they are the largest newspaper, how they grown the most among the youth, how the who’s who is reading it etc. Such a campaign would be hopelessly weak to say the least. TOI, true to its true sensational style, would try and hit The Hindu below the belt. That’s the only place the TOI can ever be good at!

Also note that everyone in the ad voices TOI. So TOI can come out with a campaign quoting that and saying how they are the No.1 brand among the 18 to 35 or whatever. Feeble response, if it were to be.

At the end of the day, The Hindu has been provoked and woken up. As the old Tamil saying goes: The wrath of the quiet sadhu when awakened will shake the forest.

This Sadhu has gone one step further: He has brutally raped TOI and thrown it into the gutter, where it rightly belongs. And I love it!

Marketing Lessons: Govinda Goooooooovinda!

2012-01-13T09:43:00.001+05:30

Marketing is amazingly easy to learn. And learn from unexpected sources too - people, products, places....and hell, even from places of worship!

Tirumala Tirupathi Devasthanam (TTD). How about learning some marketing from the world’s richest Temple authority – the BCCI of Hindu temples, so to speak!

You know the colossal crowds in Tirupathi Temple every single day. The titanic turnout is a sight to behold – provided you aren’t one among the crowd and only sight it from a distance! From sinners to sincere devotees; from people who come with a request to people who return to payback, Tirupathi is one cosmic ecosystem in itself! While the crowds are a testimony to Tirupathi’s brand pull, it also serves as a turn off!

So, what do you do as a marketer? Simple; you open new branches! When your shop gets huge crowds in a city, you open new outlets. And when it keeps growing, you expand across to other cities. So you get more walk-ins; they go back contended, having consumed your brand; word of mouth spreads; and voila, you increase your revenues!

TTD is doing precisely that. It’s planning to build Venkateswara Temples at various places across the country. New distribution outlets – allow me to say so – are to come up at Navi Mumbai, Kanyakumari and New Delhi. Plans are also afoot to convert the guesthouse and rooms at the TTD’s Chennai Information centre in T.Nagar and convert it into a full-fledged Temple....another branch that is.

Thus, increased footfalls and enhanced market share too!

Now how do you augment revenue – not from new customers but from existing ones? Simple, you go hi-tech, partner with professionals, take the e-route and profit from your existing customers....when they bow in the temple. Literally!

TTD has tied up with MSTC Ltd., the public sector trading house known for facilitating electronic auction of commodities and products – coal, manganese, scrap etc., - to profitably dispose of the huge stock of 471 tonnes of hair, offered by lakhs of devotees.

Raw hair, in general, is cleaned and categorized by local buyers and finds a huge market abroad, mostly for manufacture of wigs. So far, TTD had been selling hair through the traditional auction route. The Internet based e-auction has completely changed the rules of the game. The last sale was effected at a hair-raising (pardon my pun) Rs.133 crore (at approximately Rs. 2,824 a kg). This was 27% higher than the reserve price of Rs. 105 crores set earlier.

And this is set to swell. The last auction did not see foreign users participating directly. But MSTC is hopeful that they would soon take direct interest, raising the hair....I mean the proceeds!

This is just the tip of the icebergian hair growth! TTD is contemplating using the services of MSTC to auction the tonnes of silver and gold that devotees are only too happy to drop in the Temple’s humongous hundis everyday! Read revenues!

And there’s more. The Temple also gets, from its patrons, pots of provisions everyday - grapes, fresh fruits, dry fruits etc., worth Rs. 300–400 crores a year. They are to be auctioned too. The coffers are set to swell.

I think TTD could do much more. How about official Tirupathi memorabilia sold through authorized TTD outlets in and around the Temple? How about selling official Venkateswara merchandise around the country by exploring the franchisee route? How about banded Tirupathi Laddus sold through stores across the country using the distribution might of a company like Levers or ITC? How about Tirupathi and Venkateswara branded screen savers, ring tones, caller tunes.....you name it!

Yedukundala vaada Govinda Goooooooovinda!

Recycled celebrities

2011-12-18T12:00:00.000+05:30

There seems to be a sudden dearth of celebrities to endorse brands. Then what explains even competing brands signing up erstwhile celebrities of their competitors?

Fiama di Wills has signed up the same grandma who not too long ago was extolling the virtues of Hamam Nalangu Maavu brand. Never mind she is not a popular actress; and ignore the fact that the much-hyped Hamam variant bit the dust. Has India run out of grandmas?

What about the case of Sachin being signed up by Coke. This cola bottle sized celebrity was seen endorsing Pepsi for more than a decade. Now that you put a Coke in his hand, is the general public supposed to forget Pepsi? Every time and in every Coke commercial if the average consumer sees Sachin with a cola in his hand, wouldn’t he be thinking Pepsi? Even if most of us suffer from short-term memory loss.

The new addition to this madness is my favourite company (if you know what I mean) Hindustan Unilever. They have signed up actress Asin to make their Fair & Lovely even fairer!

Who are they kidding? Asin for half a decade was applying Fairever on her face or so she claimed in all Fairever advertising. Today, she gets up on the wrong side of the bed and has started applying Fair & Lovely. And wants us to follow suit. Excuse me?

Using celebrities in itself is fraught with risk. Remember Accenture’s predicament? Having tied themselves intricately with Tiger Woods, they were left high and dry when Tiger Woods was found flirting with 19th after every 18-hole golf game!

Now, why would any sensible marketer (never mind if it’s an oxymoron) ever use their competitor’s celebrity?

Is this country bereft of celebrities? Or, are marketers bereft of common sense?

Does advertising work?

2011-11-25T08:49:00.001+05:30

The citizens of Madras, over the past few days, have been witness to David taking on Goliath. Times of India (never mind it’s a Goliath elsewhere) has been trying to take The Hindu head on with a series of ads that has a sleeping man in everyday situations of Madras with a screaming line: Is the morning news putting you to sleep? Wake up to the Times of India.

Is the campaign working? Has the ad woken up the citizens of Madras to the perils of sleeping with The Hindu and moving to the Times of India instead?

We would know once the next round of INS data comes in.

But The Hindu certainly seemed to have woken up! Readers of The Hindu – the venerable Maha Vishnu of Mount Road – have been waking up to a change. A change in the kind of news one gets to read in The Hindu.

No, The Hindu’s impeccable language and unimpeachable use of the English language haven’t changed. Not definitely the absolute trustworthiness of its news reporting. Nor its unbelievable depth of coverage. These and other hallmarks of world class journalism that one could find only in The Hindu, hasn’t changed one iota.

But the kind of news The Hindu has added to its repertoire certainly has. ‘Why this Kolaveridi’ song (that everyone is raving about) was analyzed threadbare in The Hindu. And guess where? On prime real estate…..the front page! Never in my life have I, or for that matter millions of loyal Hindu readers, seen anything remotely similar in the first page of our morning master.

A few days back there was a complete postmortem of the decline of Kingfisher airlines……front page piece again.

There have been more changes too. The kind of headlines The Hindu now uses. The kind of news from Page 2 through the last. You could see and smell change - albeit some of them minor. The Hindu is racier now, so to speak. Funnier now, so to add. The Hindu is seeing change, to say the least!

So, coming back to the question, yes, advertising does work. Though quite not in the way TOI might have expected to! It has woken up a sleeping giant and probably getting ready to get crushed!

It’s time for Times of India to wake up……to a marauding Hindu!

11.11.11

2011-11-11T10:57:00.001+05:30

Marketers are excellent exploiters of sentiments, we know. But there are times when they exceed themselves and go to ridiculous extents. The latest is this brouhaha happening across the Indian marketing landscape today. I am talking about the 11.11.11 syndrome.

Agreed it’s a unique date and all that. But it’s just the eleventh such unique date this decade. Every Tom, Dick, Harry and his marketing uncle are onto this bandwagon. Take today’s newspaper. It’s awash with advertisements extolling the virtues of this date and giving 11.11.11 offers.

A bank says its opening 111 branches today. Which one? I don’t remember.

Some vacation package company is offering some 11 days stay with 11 day something else thrown with another 11 something into the package. What exactly is the package? And which vacation company? No idea.

And there is this premium hotel charging some 11.11.11 rate for those who stay in their rooms today. What offer and which hotel? It went over my head and had gone past my senses and I don’t remember.

Another something brand is offering another 11 something with another 11 and one more 11 to boot. Which one and what is the offer? Don’t even bother asking. I have the foggiest.

See, this is the problem. The problem of plenty. The pitfalls of a dozen brands offering something similar. So, which brand is offering which? No one knows. And even worse, no customer seems to care.

It’s like spotting a fully-tonsured friend of yours in Tirupathi. Well neigh impossible since everyone looks the same. It’s like looking at Chinese faces. Everyone looks similar!

And so is every brand today - across every category - offering something spectacularly similar. I couldn’t find one brand which stands out today nor could I spot one offer that claimed attention. It was just a plain wallpaper effect!

I have a small piece of advice to all these brands that tried riding this 11.11.11 thing. Analyze the offer performance vis-à-vis campaign objectives. Do an honest post-launch evaluation. Check if your brand achieved even a semblance of salience and a modicum of success. The findings will help you 13 months from now.

When 12.12.12 dawns on us!

The best way to fight…..is to run away!

2011-11-03T08:38:00.001+05:30

Many a battle has been won fighting the enemy face to face. It might work in warfare. But it seldom does in the marketing world. More so when you are up against an enemy, who is more entrenched than you are, more experienced than you have been and with more arsenal than you could muster.

So, how do we fight such an enemy in the battlefield?

Simple; you just shift the battlefield. Move the ground to another plane; move in against the enemy’s weakness; pitch yourself in an arena which is least contested and, more importantly, launch an attack in that part of the marketplace that is least conceived; and least expected!

Emami realized taking on Fair & Lovely would leave them battered and bruised; not to talk of them ending up dark and diabolical. So, they took the easier way out. They ran away from that battlefield; and shifted the battleground to men’s fairness. And launched Fair & Handsome.

Two things happened: It was a virgin territory that Emami literally created for itself. And two, HUL just couldn’t react. And even when they did, it was too late, too little and too stupid. Fair & Lovely Men’s Active - their reply, was feeble, frivolous and fantastically stupid that the brand’s advertising only heightened the guys’ need to use a male fairness cream – precisely the platform Fair & Handsome had taken earlier and owns now!

Too many brands get this wrong. They think the best way to take the bigger enemy is facing them ‘heads on’. No one wins by fighting harder. You win by fighting smarter. By running away from the competitor’s strength and moving him away from his area of strength.

The old clichéd question holds well all the time: How do you play Vishwanathan Anand? By playing a game other than chess!

The moral of the story: Next time you have to fight a big competitor, just run away…….and shift the battleground. Force your stronger competitor to lose his strength by taking him on in a new arena; a neutral territory. Where you are as strong. Even Stevens!

Here, is another wonderful exhibition of a brand fighting the leader by moving the battlefield. Watch this video. Enjoy and get enlightened on the art of running away from a battlefield…….only to win it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zcs1dg8qo

P.S: Thank you Ms. Aarthi for sending me this link from Germany and providing me with the necessary grist for this edition of my blog mill.

Literally lateral !

2011-10-18T20:29:00.000+05:30

One of the many joys of collecting articles, notes, reading materials etc., and filing them under different folders is finding something when you least expect it. As is this discovery today – an old but interesting list of questions that requires you to think laterally if you wish to solve them.

There are five questions here. Don’t look at the answers immediately after each question but try answering all of them and then scroll down for the answers.

Good luck!

1. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

2. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven’t eaten in three years. Which room is safest for him?

3. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday or Sunday? (or day names in any other language)

4. A man is wearing black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves and ski mask. He is walking down a back street, with all the street lamps of. A black car is coming towards him with its light off, but somehow he manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones? (This is logical than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used as an interview question by a leading software company for prospective employees.)

Here, are the answers….

1. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets). This simple puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving test-tube babies or surrogate moms. Why does the brain search for complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?

2. The third. Lions that have not eaten in three years are dead!

3. Sure you can. Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow!

4. It was day time.

5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down a manhole. So for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

Fly the bad times

2011-10-01T20:29:00.003+05:30

One of the many wonderful things about beer is its ability to wake up dozing brains and shake up dormant thinking. One more reason why I think beer is god’s gift to mankind!

But this article is not about beer. This is not even about someone having beer. This is about a beer that had one too many. Brand extensions, that is.

I am talking about Kingfisher Airlines. This strong beer brand had painstakingly frothed up enough sales to become the leader. And what does its princely owner, Mr. Mallya, do? He extends its name to an airline he launches with much fanfare.

Why name an airline Kingfisher to fly high. A few Kingfisher bottles would have done that happily! Never mind.

Kingfisher is ‘the king of good times’. Kingfisher Airlines is ‘fun in the sky’. Screw No.1.

And then Mr. Mallya goes out and buys Air Deccan – an extremely successful low cost airline till then – for around Rs.1,000 crores and renames it Kingfisher Red. Why? Maybe he wanted multiples! Who said men can’t?

Kingfisher Class is the premium airline. Kingfisher Red is the low cost one. Clearly distinctive offerings; to satisfy the flying urge of a growing nation. Another of those marketing theories preached in all business schools and academic books with disastrous results.

But the consumer has other plans. He looks at things a wee bit differently. Kingfisher is beer. He found Kingfisher Airlines a bit too strong to his liking. Even worse, Kingfisher is premium. And when you dilute that by extending the name to a low cost product – even if it’s an airline - the consumer is not willing to gulp any of it.

Need proof? Accumulated losses of Kingfisher Airlines are a staggering Rs. 5,000 crores and its total debt a stunning Rs. 6,000 crores. If I am not mistaken, that’s a lot of money and a lot of losses. Enough to give a spectacular hangover!

Before you say all airlines are bleeding, I would like to point out two things: One, in a capital intensive industry like airlines, I agree it takes times to break even. Yet, Spice Jet, Indigo and Go Air are on the ascent and can see light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. Two, Jet Airways used to be profitable till they too were bitten by the extension bug and launched Jet Lite, Jet Connect apart from its flagship Jet Airways. And flew into turbulence ever since. That nasty cold called extension causing the sneeze again!

Coming back to Kingfisher, Mr. Mallya has now decided to kill Kingfisher Red and focus only on the premium Kingfisher Class. So, what about the Rs.1,000 crores he spent on Air Deccan? Swept under the carpet. What about the killing of a successful low-cost airline concept? Flushed down the toilet.

Importantly, what has all this done to the premium Kingfisher brand image? Royally screwed…….. Mallya style!

A quick look at a fast food brand

2011-09-11T09:39:00.001+05:30

I had wanted to write about successful marketing companies for some time now. Not chronicling their history as much as sharing their secrets of success sprinkled with a few trivia and tidbits. While reading the Fortune magazine today, I spotted one such company that I thought could kick start this series. McDonald’s!

Though quintessentially American, McDonald’s has grown to be a 33,000 restaurant colossus spanning 118 countries with annual turnover of $77.4 billion. Of which, U.S contributes just $24.1 billion. The gargantuan size of the brand could be gauged by its turnover being more than KFC, Subway, Burger King, Pizza Hut and Taco Bell combined! Not bad for a company whose first day sales from its first restaurant in 1955 were a mere $366.12.

64 million people in 118 countries eat at its restaurants every single day! 80% of McDonald’s are operated by independent owners. Read franchisees.

Though the company had a successful first fifty years or so, the brand was stagnating by the turn of the century. To make matters worse, was the sudden demise of their then CEO and his replacement too having to resign since been diagnosed with cancer. During those troubled times stepped in Jim Skinner its current CEO who had started his career in 1962 working in a McDonald’s kitchen. In fact, this is one of the many reasons for the company’s success. Most of its top execs have worked on the shop floor and hence know the pulse of the consumer.

Skinner is a hands-on CEO who perennially checks on his restaurants and delegates powers lower down to make sure the giant organization doesn’t turn bureaucratic. Skinner is obsessed with satisfying customers, even if it comes at the expense of his own ideas and preferences. A few years ago the company did extensive research on new coffee-cup lids and came out with a version that customers liked but Skinner didn’t. Instead of overruling the research, like most CEO’s would have, Skinner approved the new design and, in the process, came up with his own solution: he keeps a stash of the old lids on hand when he drinks coffee!

McDonald’s is renowned for its spotless service delivered day in and day out. Not an easy task considering it has more than 1.7 million employees across the world. How do they manage? Training; and training in their own facility called Hamburger University near their headquarters at Oak Brook, Illinois, a western suburb of Chicago. This sprawling 130,000-square-foot training facility trains McDonald's employees in the various aspects of restaurant management. More than 80,000 restaurant managers, mid-managers and franchisees have graduated from this facility majoring in Burgers and with an elective in French fries!

The other fascinating facet of McDonald’s is the speed with which it delivers its food. While the category is fast food, McDonald’s is even faster! R&D is constantly egged by marketing to come up with new dishes and it constantly does. But if the new product overly complicates the kitchen and slows deliveries, the product is not launched; period. This always doesn’t endear Skinner to his finance department. But he always sides with marketing and dismisses those objections with a simple comment: “I want to remind you that it’s harder to make money than it is to count it!”

As a side dish, pun intended, though not McDonald’s doing but symptomatic of its towering presence and influence, its Big Mac serves not just hungry mouths but eager economists too. Through the Big Mac Index! Developed by The Economist magazine a quarter century ago, the Big Mac index uses the price of McDonald's burger in different countries to construct an informal (but surprisingly accurate) indicator of real exchange rate.

India, which makes a debut in the index this week, was found to have one of the most undervalued currencies vis-a-vis the dollar - even more than the Chinese Yuan. That is some fast food for thought!

McDonald has been growing at more than 5% in U.S and much more across the world. In a slow economy, that’s speedy growth from a fascinating fast food company!

CEO Skinner is now 66 years old and people keep asking him when he is going to retire. His response: ‘When I run out of my old coffee-cup lids’!

Team Anna and Brand Promotion

2011-08-21T19:55:00.002+05:30

Before I start, this piece is not about corruption in India or my joining the anti-corruption crusade. Not that I am for corruption. Since I don’t have the opportunity to make money through corruption, I am against it! Never mind that…

I am talking here about Team Anna’s campaign. Since it is being termed a campaign and is seeing a ground swell of support, I like to explore it through the prism of marketing to gauge its impact and glean some learning.

The campaign, anti-corruption, is a strong product, yes. But that alone doesn’t explain its success. The marketplace of this country is littered with good products floundering and failing due to bad marketing. But Team Anna’s hasn’t and is flourishing and flowering. And therein lie a few lessons for us marketers. Simple lessons fundamental in nature but then that’s what marketing is, has been and always should be.

First, the target audience of the campaign; the single most stunning reason for its spectacular success: the middle class of India. You see, the rich of this country are few in numbers and don’t open their mouths. And the poor though large in size don’t have a voice. The middle class - the tax-paying public, the law abiding citizens of this country who have put up with this corrupt system for way too long – they represent a huge segment. Team Anna got their segmentation right. Targeting, bang on. And positioning, picture perfect!

Economics-wise, there was pent up demand among this segment and a growing need for an anti-corruption product. Team Anna provided it. The product was accepted by the target with glee and latched up with joy.

The next key is the product’s distribution strategy. Team Anna chose the perfect market to launch their product – New Delhi; in the heart of the country amidst the citadels of power; giving it ample scope to be covered by media – from New Delhi to Navi Mumbai, from Patna to Pudukottai. The product took off in its launch market, and with growing demand elsewhere, it moved seamlessly to the nooks and corners of this country. Word of mouth helped; public relations supported it; and the target audience became the product’s distribution channel as well. Putting even brands like Amway and Tupperware to shame!

As is the case with any other brand, Team Anna now just has to make sure the audience stays with the campaign. In other words, make the audience stay brand loyal. Here, promotion will play a crucial part. And that’s been impeccable so far. Not advertisements; but powerful public relations and a fantastic ground-level initiative – Team Anna’s ‘Fast unto death’. That was a masterstroke. This country supports the meek and stands behind the weak. Fasting was the equivalent of a finely-conducted marketing event or a well-orchestrated sponsorship. Team Anna’s fasting act not only got it ground-level encouragement but media-led support too. Add to it the creative collaterals like Team Anna T-shirts, caps, banners and the grand Indian flag as backdrop have all ensured the success of this promotion campaign.

With a clear STP, comprehensive 4Ps all the campaign now needs is innovative ideas to keep the flame alive. The programme needs legs, as would any brand promotion. If Team Anna could ensure that…….this campaign, apart from its resounding success, would result in something after all to this great nation.

Now, are there any other marketing lessons here? One more, among many. It’s the danger and diabolically twin-edged sword called ‘comparative advertising’. Team Anna’s chief competitor – the Congress Government – had been doing its best to make this campaign a success. By belittling them; by releasing ads against the Jan Lokpal propagated by Team Anna; by discrediting the brand and through it the product, this Government has made sure they shot themselves in the foot and given this campaign a shot in its arm. Just like Rin found out when it tried to screw Tide with comparative advertising and ended up only promoting Tide!

Now, enough of all this marketing talk. As a simple Indian, who do you think will win? This campaign? Team Anna? A strong Lokpal?

I wish it is India!

Brand India!

2011-08-07T21:04:00.000+05:30

Theworld’s business press is going gaga on a success story called India; howwe have grown in the last decade; how we could get to be the top 3 economies ofthe world soon and so on. I am proud and all that, as much as you are.

Yet,as a marketer, graciously allow me to claim so please, I was alwaysworried about how as a nation we had a bigger problem to confront. Our economy hasbeen largely demand-led. It’s the internal consumption economy of ours that hasbeen driving our growth; nothing wrong with that. But for us to grow in statureand lead the world we need to grow strongly through exports and, moreimportantly, we need to conquer world markets with Made-in-India brands.

Putsimply, we need Indian brands, in more than a few categories, rule the world. Ialways wondered if I would ever get to see in my lifetime, Made-in-Indiabrands dotting the top sellers list across the world

Unfortunately, to start making world-beating brands we had to correct years of a deprivedimage that India has had; a third-world country with third rated facilities thathad rotten and could stand up only to raise a begging bowl at the World Bank orthe IMF.

Studentsof International Marketing would know the term, Country-of-origin effect. COE isany influence that the country of manufacture, assembly or design has on aconsumer’s positive or negative perception of a product. A company competing inglobal markets today manufactures products worldwide; when the customer becomesaware of the country of origin, there is the possibility that the place ofmanufacture will affect product or brand image. Consumers tend to havestereotypes about products and countries that have been formed by experience,hearsay and myth; English tea, French perfume, Chinese silk, Italian leather,German beer, Russian vodka, Jamaican rum to name a few.

Giventhis, and with an image like what we had, I used to think what we should do tomake Indian brands big in world markets. I wondered how, if at all, we could rectify this image crisis.

Now,I see the seeds of change being sown; slowly yet surely. Not through anadvertising campaign to change world’s view about us; not by a Public Relationsinitiative to rectify fallen image; but from an unexpected source. Humantrafficking!

Don’tget me wrong. I am not talking about flesh fetish here as much as export of thegray kind: Indian talent and intellect!

MasterCard,Pepsi, Citibank, Reckitt Benckiser, Motorola, Deutsche Bank, Vodafone andMcKinsey….Do you know all these MNCs are or were headed by Indians?

Doyou know, ever since Kraft bought Cadbury’s, it has picked 21 top crewfrom Cadbury’s India operations and has sent them to head its differentdivisions across the world?

Timemagazine says CEOs are India’s leadingexport!

Andtherein lays a trickle that is waiting to grow into a torrent. Indian talent isnow global property. Indian intellect is leading giant corporations. Added toit our, the now clichéd, software prowess, India would begin to be seen hi-tech,talent rich and intelligence endowed. In other words, the perfect launching padfor the world to see us in a different light.

Hopefully,in the near future, just as Swiss cheese, German engineering, Japaneseminiaturization….it would be time to add a new Country-of-origin effect: Indianintellect!

Nowis the time for Indian manufacturers to enter categories that require intellectand talent: packaged software, publishing, education, low-cost engineering,pharmaceuticals, R&D, space exploration and the works. Now is the time tobuild Made-in-India brands. I know our companies will. And I also know theworld will begin to accept them with glee.

Iam confident, now more than ever, I will see Indian brands rule theworld…in my lifetime.

And die a proud Indian!

Woman’s wear down….and Funfills!

2011-07-18T19:38:00.003+05:30

Foundtwo contrasting news items in the business press last week. Two different news pertainingto two different companies yet with one underlying theme – sheer stupidity!

Thefirst news item was about Blackberry’s, the clothing company. They have decidedto pull down their woman’s wear. No damn it, not in the sexual sense of thephrase! But Blackberry’s have realized that its woman’s range – which is soldin the same brand name as their men’s – is not doing well, and have decided to killits woman’s range and pull it off the market.

Theyshould have never launched their woman’s wear in the same name as their men’sin the first place. Guess, I might be accused of being sexist and malechauvinist but I am talking about the stupidity of their brand extension and intheir erroneous, and now proved fatalistic belief, in thinking the men andwoman’s wear can be sold with the same brand name. A stupidity that hadafflicted ColorPlus before with the same disastrous result. ColorPlus woman isgoing down too. Women, pardon the pun please!

Andabout the other news item, Cavinkare has decided to launch a new brand of confectionery called Funfills. No problem with that. Only that, it is to becalled Chinnis’ Funfills.

Whatis Chinnis?

Yup,masalas! A range of masalas – for the South Indian kitchens.

Andwhat is it now? Chinnis Funfills.

Excuseme, but can someone tell me if they will ever buy Aachi Chocolates, MTRChicklets, Sakthi Lollipops, MDH Mints or Everest Éclairs?

Sowhy would anyone buy Chinnis Funfills? Except if you are part of Cavinkare’s marketing department; who then would have to take every goddamnpiece back from the market when it, and it will, fail and have to eat their own confectionery, their own words and their own stupid branding strategy.

It seems marketers can onlyearn; never learn!

Change is (not) here!

2011-06-30T07:50:00.000+05:30

There is change. And there is going to be no change!

The change I am referring to, as is evident on the screen, is in this blog – relaunched; hopefully rejuvenated. Yet another of my unflinching attempts to start afresh; to start anew; to be constant, consistent and customary. Will I keep my word this time? I want to. I will. I hope!

But the change I wish to talk about is ‘change’ that is not going to be around. As you would know, RBI will withdraw 25 paisa coins from the market starting today! These coins will not be in circulation and can’t be used as legal tender for payment. Soaring metal prices and rising inflation have made these coins unviable, they say. Change is here, ironically, by not being there anymore!

Wonder what it means to us marketers. Here are a few possibilities and pitfalls. Feel free to add to this list.

What happens to sachet brands that are priced at Rs. 1.75 or Rs.2.25? Either they have to move their prices backwards, say to Rs. 1.50 (which would squeeze their profits) or move up to Rs. 2 (which might pit them against their closest premium brand jeopardizing their market share).

A favourite price promotion resorted to by many sachet and low-priced brands was ’25 paisa off’. Not any more, I suppose.

Lower SKU brands like 20 gm talc packs, toothpastes, shampoos etc., now have to jump 50 paisa at a time, when they wish to increase their prices. Would it not make them think twice about increasing prices from now on?

What about Bata? They obviously can’t continue to price their products like they normally do, say Rs.1095.95! God bless their souls (my pun be damned!)

Forget marketing for a minute. The bigger problem in all this, as I see, is among the small-scale philanthropists among us. Let them not think of sparing their change on beggars. Lest they wish to get them….thrown back at their kind faces!

Kerala!

2011-02-18T10:05:00.000+05:30

My plane was on its descent to Kochi airport when it hit me. No, not a bird hit but a realization. I was going back to Kerala after a gap of almost twelve long years. A state I had visited more than a handful of times in the mid 90’s.

Looking through the window, this time I could see tall buildings, wider roads and much more traffic than I had ever seen in the city. But what amazed me was the lush greenery the city had maintained; even enhanced.

Getting off the plane that early morning and walking towards the terminal in a refreshingly cool 19 degree temperature was a surreal experience. Surrounded by greenery, a railway track at the end of the runway with an express train chugging along it and watching the airport built in typical Kerala style – which in itself was built by a Private-Public partnership – was just plain unreal.

To make things better was a nice sms from my best friend sent to greet me: ‘Welcome to my state.....of mind’. The Mallu girl’s message pretty much reflected my thoughts!

If all that didn’t mesmerize me enough, the drive to the city certainly did. Yes, the city had grown but seemed it hadn’t. The urban city seemed to maintain its rural character and rustic charm. Rivers meandering through the city, well-maintained banks and boardwalks, a green canopy wherever you saw….the city was testimony to the successful marketing of Kerala as a terrific tourism destination.

Kerala is a classic marketing case study on the power of using marketing to promote a piece of geography as a tourist destination. Here, sample a few facts that prove what well-organized tourism and well-planned marketing could do to country and its people - something Kerala has been able to perfectly plan and professionally pan out.

Kerala is the fastest growing tourist destination in the country with over 4 lakh international and 64 lakh domestic tourist arrivals every year.

The tourism sector alone accounts for more than Rs.1,000 crore investment every single year and provides employment to more than a million Mallus!

The state generates close to Rs.13,000 revenues from tourist arrivals every year. (A figure Tamil Nadu government is able to generate by only selling liquour!)

Foreign exchange earnings of the state amount to around Rs. 1,550 crores a year.

No wonder National Geographic Traveler magazine rates Kerala ‘one of the ten paradises on earth’ and ’50 places of a lifetime’!

The same evening, on the way back, I asked my car driver to take a different route to the airport than the one he had taken in the morning. Not that I had expected to see anything different. It was still the same: greenery, canals, streams, tons of foreigners and thousands of tourists infesting the city like ants would sugar!

I was still pondering over all this as I got on to my flight; amazed how a state could not only market itself better but also get geared to its marketing push and live up to the promise offered to its customers.

As the plane took off and Kochi became nothing but thousands of bulbs and lingering lights through the window, I just leaned back and realized: here is one of the few brands that could actually live up to its baseline…

God’s own country!

Human Branding!

2011-01-12T11:50:00.000+05:30

Branding sure has come of age, in India. Forget whether we have learnt the intricacies of it. Ignore if we have become adept in executing it. Never mind if we have or not mastered the art of it in its highest form. Yet, we have reached the supreme form of branding - branding humans!

I am talking about body shopping! No, am not referring to Naidu Hall, but am talking about the IPL auction. That was human branding at its very best. People buying and selling humans – cricketers they may be, but humans – as if they were packaged goods.

Hello branding!

Amazing, the circus that happened last weekend and sadly I didn’t watch it on TV and caught up with it only through the newspapers. Boy, what an exhibition of brands, branding, buying, selling, pricing, value offers and more. Here are a few things that stood out to me in that brand bazaar.

There were brands that were bought for its sheer badge value. Never mind if the brand was worth it in the first place. Yuvraj Singh for $1.8 million was a joke. I mean he is (was!) a good cricketer and all that but that man has a serious attitude problem. Probably he was paid more for his attitude than for his acumen. Then there was Irfan Pathan going for $1.9 million. Delhi Dare Devils has paid the price of BMW for a Nano!

And there were brands that have gone on SALE. I mean, take the sad case of Michael Hussey – Mr. Cricket to those who know him and I am one too – and he has been sold for a mere $425,000. Contrast that with Robin Uthappa – who went for $2.1 million. Atrocious! The other SALE item was Shaun Marsh – a delicate, dashing and dangerous opening batsman - who was bought by Kings XI for a mere $400,000. That’s Aadi thallupidi to me! And guys; watch out for a guy called Clint McKay bought by Mumbai Indians for a laughable $110,000.

There were a few lessons for consumers in this auction. Never spend mountains of money on one or two players. Kolkata Knight Riders has spent close to $4.5 million on just two – Gautam Gambhir and Yusuf Pathan. One injury, one bad season or a few wrong umpiring decisions and the game is over for KKR. Along with it their season’s hopes! The proverbial don’t-put-all-your-eggs-in-one-basket works everywhere. But luckily for KKR, they have had a few big-ticket items at small prices. Brad Haddin at $325,000 was a damn steal.

Contrast that with the approach of Chennai Super Kings. CSK spent $8.6 million on 18 players! They have not paid exorbitantly to any one individual – minus Dhoni and Raina - yet have managed to pick up strong utility players who can collectively win matches for them. To me, what works for CSK is their belief in building a core team – that plays together for years so they could spend time together, build a bond and play as a team. It’s the only team that pretty much looks the same as the previous years’. That to me is a big plus. Other teams are going to take time to build camaraderie and spirit, but by the time they do it, if they manage to do it all, IPL 4 would be over! CSK has got it bang on: Build a core team Nurture a cohesive culture. And watch productivity soar. Smart HR policy at work!

If there is one other thing that stood out to me – that looked different from the principles of branding – it is the absolute lack of emotion in purchases. Brands are largely bought by the heart and rarely by the head. In contrast, this IPL was bereft of emotion. Royal Challengers weren’t carried away by Rahul Dravid and he was instead carried away by Rajasthan Royals at less than half his base price. The delectable Laxman was not picked by his own hometown. And Ganguly lost his place and pride. Rationality ruled; emotion expired!

Will all these brands – bought and sold - deliver? Therein lies another big lesson for marketers. Perform, and watch your professional fee pump up. Saurabh Tiwary’s base price was a mere $40,000 in 2008; his current pick-up price is $1.6 million. R. Ashwin’s base price two years ago was $30,000 and his current selling price is $850,000. Under promise and over deliver and the consumer would not only hold your brand to dear life, but will even allow you to pick the price you want from his or her pocket!

As an aside: Ironically, this is my 100th post. Glad I have scored a century even if I had taken four long years to score it. Guess I have played like Rahul Dravid! I know I lack his flair; I have not played by the book like he does. And importantly, I lack his divine grace, incredible amount of concentration and unbelievable levels of determination. Yet, in my own way, I have managed to score a century! And that I know is only because of you.

Thank you, my friend, for reading!

New Year Resolutions

2011-01-01T09:55:00.001+05:30

It’s that time of the year again.

The beginning of a new one; a new dawn; a new phase of life; an whole new start………and all other such nonsense!

To me, personally, the fun part of New Year has always been watching people make resolutions. “I will start doing this.” “I will stop doing this.” And what not. Do they seriously mean them? Absolutely. Will they follow them religiously? Absolutely………..not!

I just don’t believe in New Year Resolutions. Not because I don’t have anything to drop, add or delete. But because of my inability to live up to them or execute them. When it comes to New Year Resolutions, I have always had just one: To never have one!

Since I am not going to have one myself, I thought I would do the next best thing - help give a few resolutions for others to follow; to who else but to my own fraternity. Here are a few New Year resolutions to all the marketers and advertisers – present, past and future - that they can adopt for the so-called New Year.

1. I shall not blindly use a celebrity to advertise my brand. I would rather build a brand that becomes a celebrated entity in its own right.

2. I shall not resort to stupid brand extensions and would rather strive to make my brand stand for the generic like Google, FedEx, Bisleri etc.

3. If I am selling a brand to men, I shall not position it on ‘Sexual Attraction’ like Axe, Set Wet, Wild Stone and a million other brands. Agreed, most men have only one thing in the mind. Yet, I will try and discover new insights to base my brand positioning on.

4. I shall not resort to cheap ‘Sale’, stupid ‘Price-offs’ and unintelligent ‘Offers’ to promote my brand and would rather try and build a brand on old-fashioned marketing values like consumer understanding, spotting need gaps, product innovation etc.,

5. I shall not think that the best way to promote my brand is to sponsor the most popular programme or event without ascertaining the level of fit between the sponsored event / programme and my brand like is the case with the stupid Fair & Lovely Fourth Umpire and brainless Airtel Super Singer. I shall explore better ideas like Britannia 50-50 sponsoring the Third Umpire decision.

Do I seriously believe the marketers would do any of these? Not even in my wildest dreams. But what the hell; it always feels good to give New Year Resolutions to others. When they fail, and believe me, they will, I can always make it the topic for my next blog post!

Does it mean my next post would be on December 31st 2011?

Power(less) Brand Strategy

2010-06-10T12:35:00.000+05:30

HUL is at it again. They have decided to launch a new brand called ‘Sure’ - a deodorant at a price that is affordable.

Nothing wrong with that. Only that the new brand is being launched at the expense of Rexona deodorant. Looks like HUL is planning to phase out Rexona – eventually. Though the phasing out would initially be restricted onlyto advertising support being withdrawn for Rexona. (Source: News item in Business Line dated May 13th)

Why? Though the news item doesn’t mention I am assuming it is a fall-out of the Power Brand Strategy HUL unleashed a few years ago. Phase out smaller or one-off brands and merge them with a big brand from their own stable so they could have a smaller yet a more focused portfolio of brands.

I might not have the brilliance of the collective minds of Levers, or even be able to match the individual minds of the organization, but I wonder what’s been the hidden logic, if there were ever one in the first place, behind these mergers? Isn’t marketing about creating different brands for different segments? Isn’t why we have concepts like Segmentation, Targeting and Positioning.

By merging brands aren’t they weakening the brands by making it stand for many things. For instance, Denim meant talc at one point of time and was reflected in a fairly strong presence the brand enjoyed in the talc category prior to its merger with Axe. Now that it has been merged, what’s Axe’s market share in talc? Zilch. Don’t believe me? Take this simple test. When I say Axe, what comes to your mind? Deo, women, sex……. But I bet talc is not one that props out, does it? Denim died and along with it a strong talc presence.

Rin, the undisputed leader in ‘whites’, lost it to Tide – not just because of Tide’s brilliant campaign but also, in its own way, because of its merger with Surf Excel. Rin meant ‘whites’; Surf Excel meant ‘dirt removal’. Two different things in the consumer’s mind. When merged, ‘Rin Surf Excel’ didn’t mean a thing - neither ‘whites’ nor ‘dirt removal’. The ‘whites’ segment of the category lost a name and was promptly filled by P&G with Tide. Are you surprised Tide today has twice the market share of Rin? You should be surprised Rin still exists!

Merging Rexona soap with Hamam was another master move to kill one, or worse, both brands. A master move if the competitors had done it to HUL. Pity, it was HUL doing it to themselves. Where is Rexona soap now? Last heard the brand managers at HUL were cleaning the shelves of any remaining vestiges of the brand.

This summer they have merged Pond’s Magic talc with Pond’s Dreamflower talc. Pond’s Magic had not seen advertising support since 2003 summer. What seems to have happened, I surmise, is another exhibition of extreme stupidity in the name of Power Brand Strategy. Pond’s Magic stood for ‘Attraction’ and Pond’s Dreamflower talc stood for ‘Confidence’ and then moved to ‘Beauty’. Post the merger of the two brands the combined entity seems to stand for ‘?’. You see the TV ad and try and figure out, if you can. By the way, both brands are now declining in the market. They are getting powdered by competition, allow me to pun!

I guess, it’s now deodorant time - merge Rexona with Sure so they could do to the brand what they had already done to their other brands so far. Never mind if Rexona is strong now. By the end of the year, if not early, Rexona deodorant would start to stink.

Ladies and gentlemen, that’s the infamous Power Brand Strategy conceived, created and caressed at the citadels of India’s foremost marketing company – Hindustan Unilever.

I am ‘Sure’ you get the picture. Damn my pun again!

Go slow. Sex in progress!

2010-05-14T09:58:00.000+05:30

Marketers have always liked making ads that evoke feelings – be it the warm and fuzzy, cute and cuddly kind or the standard ones – that evoke humour, fear or the oldest feeling among them all – sex.

Sex in advertising certainly arouses; but does it arouse an interest to buy? Well, that’s been a moot point.

Sure, there have been a few brands, here and there, that might have used sex in their advertising to succeed, but in general, most marketing theorists and academicians agree sex doesn’t sell – apart from the ones that certain women sell for a living!

But of late, did you notice, quite a few Indian ads have been oozing with sex. Not as blatant as it might get in porn films, but certainly flirting with different shades of it. It ranges from the blatant use of couples kissing in Close Up ads to the undressing of a bride in the Zatak ad to girls feeling their essentials in a few other ads that I find difficult to recall now.

Well, that is one of the problems of using sex in advertising. The consumer remembers the flesh, fizz and frivolous in the ad and not as much the brand name itself.

There who belong to the ‘sex works in advertising’ school of thought, quote Axe to support their point. Agreed, Axe uses sex. But is it in their advertising?

Think. Axe promises sexual attraction, as their positioning platform. Period. Except in one or two of their ads, by and large, Axe doesn’t showcase blatant sex in their advertising. They are smartly left to the viewers’ imagination.

Wouldn’t you agree that’s a smarter thing to do? And more sexier too!

Brand IPL

2010-04-27T20:19:00.000+05:30

I know this is a marketing blog – which you might violently disagree with - and I have a few thoughts on IPL 3 – which you might not necessarily agree with far less like. Some of these thoughts might not have anything to do with marketing yet I felt like using this forum to share the same with you.

First and foremost, there is this huge debate about the existence of IPL after Lalit Modi - actually Lalit Kedi (The Tamil word for ‘fraud’). First of all, there is a lesson here for all and sundry. Distance the brand from people, promoters or professionals who run it. Something, I had talked about here a few months back. No one is worried what would happen to Nestle if its current chairman dies. Do you even know who its current chairman is? That’s how it should be. Brand should be visible; not its custodians. Since IPL had been so intertwined with Modi, we are needlessly debating if it would exist long after Modi exits.

Brands need to be persisted with and supported even if they don’t take off in the short-run. Mumbai Indians is a prime example. A team that was languishing in the bottom of the table the last two IPL’s ended up runners this year. It could be due to better team performance et al, but foremost was the support their owners extended to the team in terms of money, bigger buying during the auction etc.,

And hey my hometown won! Not just this year’s IPL – which is great – but what gave me more satisfaction was the fact that Chennai won the Fair Play Award as well. I am quite old-fashioned when it comes to cricket. I like the 70’s and 80’s style of cricket. Play fair. Play to win. Chennai did!

Talking about the final, and for that matter every match played across the country, what a partisan crowd we Indians are. We pride in saying we love cricket. The heck we do. We love our team, whatever that restricted term is; that’s all. If we really love the game, we need to love it no matter who plays. We need to appreciate and applaud opponents when they play better. Every crowd in the country, with the exception of Chennai, applauded just their home team.

The worst was the Mumbai final. Here is a team that comes from behind and wins their home team and not one person stood up and clapped for Chennai. The 50,000 fans that day should hang their heads in shame. Even better, come and watch the Chennai crowd appreciate good cricket – no matter who plays that.

And the worst was when the match got over. During the award ceremony, there was hardly a handful in the stadium to get up and applaud when Dhoni went to pick up the cup. Yeah, I understand it was getting late and all that, but my point is this: Would the crowd have left if Mumbai had won?

If you think every other city would have behaved the same way, I would like to remind you of the 1999 test match when Pakistan won us by a mere 14 runs in spite of that heroic Tendulkar’s effort. It was an agonizing loss after coming so close to victory. Yet, not one person in Chepauk stadium left, me included. We all stood up and clapped as the Pakistan team went around the stadium on a victory lap. We are talking an International Test Match, guys. And we are talking about our arch enemy. Yet, I feel proud to say we stood up and saluted them. It was like saying, ‘We all hate you alright. But you guys won. Well done.’ Shame on the Mumbai crowd.

The final yet again proved, if proof was necessary, how poor a captain Tendulkar ever was and would forever be. People just talk about his not sending Pollard early. But that was just his fifth or sixth big mistake that day. He couldn’t read his own pitch right and picked just one spinner. He couldn’t keep his cool and was seen visibly yelling at his team when things went wrong. Mumbai might have come to the final but that was not Tendulkar’s doing. If so, why couldn’t he bring his team anywhere close even to the semis in the previous two editions of IPL? He is poor captaincy material – that was abundantly clear when he captained India and lost matches left, right and centre – both abroad and at home.

Tendulkar could be a great batsman – of which I have no doubts – but he isn’t a gentleman as he is always made out to be. I could quote instances galore from past but one thing would suffice. In Raina’s second over (when they were 87 for 2) he clearly edged the ball to Dhoni. Remember guys, the ball brushed his glove on the way to Dhoni – something he could clearly have felt. Yet, he turned his back on the umpire and refused to walk. Legally right, yes. But morally? Great batsman, agreed. Good gentleman?

Raina walks when he edges. Dhoni walks when he thinks he is out. Gilchrist walks when he knows he has to go. Isn’t this why this sport was once called a gentleman’s game?

Bullshit Branding

2010-03-24T11:33:00.003+05:30

Not everyone in India loves cricket. Not certainly the IPL broadcasters and the ad sponsoring brand advocates. What started as a 'Citi Moment of Success' has now reached 'DLF maximum'!

What then explains the addition of utter nonsense like ‘Karbon Kamaal Catch’ or ‘Max Mobile Time-out’? I see two more such nauseating terms being added next year; and a few more after that. All to kill the proverbial goose for a few rotten eggs.

As such, cricket lovers are being forced to hear utter banality that masquerades as commentary and sheer stupidity that goes around as expert analysis. We seem to have a bottomless pit of nincompoops who claim to be commentators and cricketing experts – led by the trying-to-put-that-accent Gavaskar to the non-stop-nonsense Morrison and many other I-have-no-idea-what-cricket-is in between them.

It’s a pity a cricket-loving nation such as ours can’t produce a few good commentators. All we have are those who say stuff that any mentally deranged maniac would murmur.

'That was a great shot’ – Aren’t most boundaries hit that way?

‘The first 6-overs are crucial’ – In which other matches are they not?

‘That’s a lovely ball’ – Are they referring to Preity Zinta’s or Shilpa Shetty’s?

And to top all this diabolical verbal diarrhea comes this brand-new bullshit: ‘Karbon Kamaal Catch’ and ‘Max Mobile Time Out’.

And don’t you harbour hopes that it will stop here. The idiots at IPL are not going to care two-hoots about whether we like or dislike this triteness and are bound to go ahead with more such nonsense in the years to come.

Being the obliging soul I am, I thought I could help the guys at IPL come out with a few more; and in the process help you poor soul to brave yourself and be mentally prepared when they hit you in the next edition of IPL. Here’s my two-bit to the branded banalities that can be bestowed on us next year.

When a captain makes a wrong move: ‘That’s a Fair & Lovely F***-up’

When a dot ball is bowled: ‘It’s a Dabur Dot Ball’.

When there’s a misfield: ‘It’s a Garnier Fructus Goof-up’.

When a run-out is missed: ‘Ooh it’s a Gillette Close Shave’.

When a catch is dropped: ‘Oh boy, lifebuoy’.

If over-branding can kill, we have a mass murderer in our midst - IPL!

Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards - 3

2010-01-15T21:42:00.002+05:30

Time, as is said often, does fly. It feels like we were discussing Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards - 2 just a few weeks back. A year has flown since then, flown fast and furious. It's time for its third convention.

As is the case with this forum, I intend inviting voices and votes about a few categories.

The best brand launch of the year

The best advertising of the year

The worst brand failure of the year

The expected brand failure of 2010

Send in your choices. You can even open new categories if you so wish. Any brand, marketer or advertisement that you feel needs to be rewarded or reprimanded.

The awards close very soon - December 31st 2010 to be precise!

Nah, just kidding. Do send in your entries soon.

And by the way, belated though, wish you a 2010 filled with 2000 fun!

Researchers are being researched

2009-12-30T20:36:00.003+05:30

It seems to be the flavour of the month. The hunter being hunted; policemen getting arrested; doctors catching swine flu; and now, market researchers being researched.

It’s been a torrid and troublesome time for market researchers. Too many of their ilk is being forced to face up to their goof ups. Two significant developments these last few weeks have brought the researchers into spotlight. And not for good reasons either.

The first one pertains to radio listenership data in the recently published Indian Readership Survey (IRS). Big 92.7 FM has been shown doing well in cities like Ahmedabad, Jabalpur and Jaipur. Good news to BIG FM you think. Only problem is, Big FM doesn’t even operate in these markets! Even an illiterate lunatic, half drunk and dazed, woken in the middle of the night would tell you something is amiss here.

And you are talking IRS – that’s the largest continuous readership research study in the world with an annual sample size exceeding 2.5 lakh respondents!

A giant goof up to say the least.

The second pertains to another reputed research company - A.C. Nielson - one of the world’s largest retail audit firms. If you didn’t know much about them, this is what they have to say about themselves: We offer an integrated suite of market information gathered from a wide range of sources, advanced information management tools, sophisticated analytical systems and methodologies to help our clients find the best paths to growth.

Their monthly reports, covering tons of categories, spell out what every marketer wishes to know: who buys, what is bought, when it is bought, how much is bought, where it is bought and much more.

What seems to be the problem? Nielson’s clients are increasingly disillusioned by the numbers reported. The sales figures stated by Nielson don’t tally with the sales figures the companies have notched up in the marketplace. If Nielson can’t project my company sales properly, how can I expect them to project others’, they argue. Valid, one has to agree.

And some of them have even stopped subscribing to these expensive Nielson reports. You are not talking any Johnny-come-lately but the big and the best of Indian marketing - Dabur, Godrej and I gather, even Hindustan Unilever.

Nielson, after denying these allegations, have finally promised to look into the issue and sort things out. And so has IRS.

Researchers are being forced to do some serious soul searching!

The Zoozoos are back, but…..

2009-12-10T12:45:00.002+05:30

Vodafone is on it again. Their marketing honchos have decided to bring back the Zoozoos.

Is it because they feel it worked for them earlier? In that case, why they dropped it is anybody’s guess.

Is it because their subsequent campaigns didn’t work? In that case, what was ailing those campaigns that this Zoozoo are going to address - is again anybody’s guess.

Or is it because they are worried stiff over the fact that new subscribers seem to be dancing over to Docomo and not visiting Vodafone. If you have been following Telecom reports you would know that Vodafone has been pushed to fourth on the list of brands that has been able to attract new subscribers.

In other words, Vodafone is growing slower vis-à-vis other key brands in the category. Their run rate has fallen, so to speak. And they have brought back their pinch hitters – the Zoozoos – to attract attention and appeal to the new subscribers; in other words, to accelerate their run rate.

Will it work? I doubt.

I say so for two reasons. One, for the very reasons I had outlined in my previous posts, the Zoozoos are attracting attention to themselves and not as much for Vodafone.

Two, this now-you-see-now-you-don’t use of Zoozoos have diluted their impact sufficiently if not substantially. Vodafone probably doesn’t realize the Zoozoos, at best, is just an advertising gimmick with hardly any long-term value.

Did you notice not many have been talking about the new set of Zoozoo ads? In fact, did you even know they are back?

Therein lies the answer!

Men of 'Steal'

2009-11-29T09:36:00.001+05:30

We all know our Indian movie makers can never make good movies of their own, exceptions apart, though. Most often than not, they have to pilfer popular playwright’s work, filch Hollywood films, steal scenes and lift ideas from around the world.

The Indian advertising industry is no different and it has always had more than its fair share of thieves and robbers - barefaced souls who have blatantly stolen stuff from foreign ads. And I am not talking about stealing just ad themes or execution ideas; sometimes even ad jingles are brazenly borrowed and silently stolen.

Want proof?

Click on this slick flick…… No marks for guessing the brand though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfiwDRDvgng

As irony would have it, this piece of info was passed to me by a good friend of mine in……………….where else, advertising!

Senseless Marketers and their Sensational Sense of Humour

2009-11-21T17:53:00.001+05:30

A career in marketing might be hectic and chaotic; tension-filled and pressure-mounted. But you have to give it to marketers for their amazing sense of humour. They never let their busy lifestyle mar their incredible talent to make people laugh. Just scan the business press and read about the marvelous marketing magic weaved by marketers. It is sure to open your heart, widen your smile and even let you have a deafening laugh. Want proof: here is a comic gem I found in the business press recently.

A Kolkata-based FMCG major is diversifying into cement business and will invest Rs1,750 crore to set up production units in the next three years. “We are diversifying into the cement business, considering the potential and demand of it in the country, particularly in the eastern region. The total investment for the venture will be around Rs1,750 crore for the next three years,” the company’s group director Mohan Goenka said.

As part of the new plan, the company will set up a fully integrated cement plant in Chhattisgarh with an installed capacity to produce 3.1 million tones. He also added the product will cater to the eastern region only.

Oh, by the way, the company in question is Emami.

Now, where is the humour in all this, you wonder? The company is launching its cement under the ‘Emami’ brand name.

Yup, you heard it right. ‘Emami Cement’. What do you say?

I guess it would just be a matter of time before other marketers too get their comedy act together and launch a laugh riot. When that happens, boy we could well expect these: Lakme Housing, Pond’s Shipping, Garnier Fertilizers, Fair & Lovely Steels, Nivea Nuclear Plants and many more.

And, not for a minute, should we underestimate the marketers of industrial brands. Be rest assured; they would come all comic guns blazing to invade FMCG turf. Get all set to welcome: L&T Facewash, DLF Sunscreen Lotion, TISCO Talcum Powder, ONGC Room Fresheners to name a few.

Though strictly not within this ambit, yet as a parting shot, allow me to present my favourite: Harpic Mouthwash!

Docomo’s dilemma

2009-11-14T14:02:00.003+05:30

I have always believed, exceptions apart, the state or government should not interfere in the market and should rather let the market decide. Markets are far more efficient in leveling themselves than any government rule or policy can hope to achieve.

This has yet again been clearly played out in mobile telephony. Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (TRAI) was trying to mandate all telecom companies to charge calls on a per-second basis instead of the per-minute basis that they were all following. Telecom companies cried foul and said TRAI was exceeding its brief and was trying to arm-twist them.

While this debate was raging on in the corridors of power, the marketplace, where it all mattered, was witnessing the emergence of something sinister. Docomo launched its services with this very promise ‘Pay per second’.

‘Why pay in minutes when life can change in seconds’ was their war cry. New subscribers and quite a few younger audience – who keep changing their provider – heard it loud and clear and started migrating to Docomo.

Docomo soon became the brand that attracted the most new subscribers in mobile connections. It even overtook market leaders like Airtel and Vodafone in new subscriber acquisition. To throw some numbers, Docomo added four million new subscribers in September alone. And it continues to march on.

Docomo’s spectacular growth has startled the existing biggies and guess what they did. They have started to charge ‘per second’ too. And we are talking all the big brands – Airtel, Vodafone, Aircel, Reliance – who once pooh-poohed this very ‘per second’ manner of charging.

Market forces have achieved silently what TRAI was trying to achieve shouting. Well done Docomo!

But my marketing mind (kindly allow me to claim so) now has a different worry. More a worry for Docomo than it is to me. Docomo was clearly positioned as a ‘per second’ charger. By default and by their design, that’s how they had positioned themselves. Now that every other player is offering the same thing, has Docomo lost its only weapon? Does ‘per second’ billing makes sense for a brand when every other brand in the category is offering the same thing?

Agreed, Docomo was the first player to offer it. But when a brand harps on a functional benefit and a functional benefit alone, will it lose its edge when others also offer the same functional benefit?

Remember, the other brands have other stories to tell too while Docomo has just this one to scream about. And something that is not theirs alone, any more.

Is this why Docomo is trying to create a youthful personality to itself through their new ad - guys and girls humming the Docomo jingle in the friendship express? Is that sufficient reason for people to purchase this brand? What do you think?

Oh yeah yaaa ohhh. Docomooohhhhhhh!

Roadblock to nowhere

2009-11-06T10:44:00.002+05:30

I don’t consider myself well equipped to write about media (or for that marketing) but a media innovation being praised by all and sundry caught my attention and I decided to make it the topic of this belated post!

If you didn’t know already, on September 17 all consumers who watched any of Star’s 10 channels saw only HUL brands being advertised. HUL had, to use a media term, roadblocked all advertising time and space in Star’s ten channels and had only their ads for the entire day.

The world stopped revolving and exclaimed ‘my god’. The entire nation stood up and applauded the most earth shattering event since this nation became independent. ‘HUL has done it again’, screamed the who’s who of marketing.

Done what? This mind of mine fails to grasp the outcome of all this. So a few million people watched only HUL ads all day, fine. But, how many of them felt they were watching only HUL ads. Or how many of us know which company makes most of the ads that we watch or the bulk of the brands that we buy.

Do we know who makes Oral B?
Do we know who makes Medimix?
Do we know who makes D’Cold?

Do we care to know?

It is not just about a simple case of buying inventory from Star. The premium cost for such a strategy is obscenely high and my media sources say it would have been about 100%. Businessworld magazine estimates HUL’s ad-spends that day at about Rs.1,000 crores!

So what did HUL actually achieve by spending a fortune? People got to see only Surf or Lifebuoy or Pears or whatever that was dished out. To the average Mrs. Housewife it’s just another day of ads on TV. Even assuming she never switched to any other channel– Zee or Sony or Colours - during ad breaks, what would have she got? Agreed, she probably didn’t get to see any HUL competitive ads that day. So what? She saw them earlier and she would be seeing them the next day; the day after. Why need to spend Rs.1,000 crores for this? Isn't this the classic case of putting-all-advertising-eggs-in-one-media-basket?

Has recall of HUL brands increased tremendously post this? I doubt. HUL has yet to comment on that. Knowing HUL, they would have done a study by now to ascertain the impact. Their silence screams the deafening impact of their media innovation. Zilch!

You see, this media roadblock strategy might gain people’s attention if a single brand does it with a single message on a single day. For instance, Hutch used this roadblock strategy in 2007 in Star, when they changed the name to Vodafone. All day, a single focused message that Vodafone wanted to achieve – ‘Hutch is now Vodafone’. Maybe that made sense. But different brands of the same company being advertised on the same day – to the consumer, is just another set of advertising. Spending a fortune on it is strategically foolish and creatively futile.

I wondered why any company would even do this. Was I missing something in all this? So I called my media friend – one of the most respected media minds in the country – certainly one of the few I respect - and posed him this question.

Why would a company spend Rs.1,000 crores on just one set of channels on a single day? Who would benefit?

The soft-spoken friend of mine smiled and said, ‘First, the brand manager would. He or she would show it as something different that they attempted and executed. Secondly, the media agency would have earned brownie points and a fat media commission as well. And thirdly Star TV, which would have made a quiet killing’.

But what about the brands, I enquired. He smiled even more and said, ‘Who cares about them’!

Sound bytes bites!

2009-09-28T12:29:00.005+05:30

I have been caught up with work, travel and other such mundane things these past few days. That, coupled with my legendary laziness, is the reason why I have not updated my blog - not that you care I know!

As a stop gap, as a relief to your eyes, yet as a pain to your ears, here's a link to some audio bytes. I was interviewed in Aaha FM - a popular Tamil FM channel in Madras, owned and run by Kumudham magazine - a few weeks back on, what else, marketing.

If you have a few minutes - 45 of them to be precise - click on the link and check out yours truly.

A caveat though: The interview is in Tamil. For those who can't understand it and wouldn't feel like listening to it - lucky you!

http://www.archive.org/details/BadriSeshadriKizhakkuPodcastWeek6
_SatheeshKrishnamurthytalkingtoSatyanarayanonMarketin

The Upside of Slowdowns

2009-09-06T07:49:00.001+05:30

It looks like the worst of the economic slowdown is behind us. Some economists have predicted the beginning of a recovery early next year. Agreed, economists get it wrong most of the time. As they say, economists correctly predicted ten of the last three recessions! Let’s hope, for our sake, they are right about recovery.

Everyone and his mistress have talked about the pains and problems with economic slowdowns. Every cloud has the proverbial silver lining. Is there anything for us marketers to learn from this slowdown? I think there is. And here are three.

1. To begin with, most of us were referring to this lull as recession. By God, at least this country of ours was far from it. We were actually growing albeit much lower than last year. We had been growing so fast and so fine all these last ten years or so that most of us were not happy when the growth slowed down. The slowdown made one thing clear to everyone, if ever clarity was needed: ‘We Indians want growth; and growth at a galloping pace. Anything slow and we are not willing to accept.’ For a poor and illiterate country that has just started to embrace open markets and globalization, it’s a heartening thing to note.

2. Premium brands are the ones that seem to take a pounding during economic slowdowns. Honda was hammered. Toyota was traumatized. Mercedes Benz was murdered. But did you notice Maruti managed! While their premium brands slowed down, the company sales itself didn’t. The company’s mass brands grew even if not by much. It clearly shows and comprehensively proves: Don’t put all the eggs in one basket. If you have premium brands in your portfolio, try having mid-sized ones and low-priced warriors too as part of your product mix. Come slowdown, your premium brands would wobble; but your mass brands will wiggle you out.

3. Come an economic slowdown and marketers seem to cut costs – and that includes cutting down on the easiest one to cut – advertising. A study by Business Line has proved that all those companies that actually bucked the slowdown and increased their advertising spend were the ones that actually grew during this slowdown. Makes sense, doesn’t it? When everyone cuts down their noise levels, even if you whisper you are heard loud, by the ones that matter most – customers. Remember, tightening your belt during a slowdown is fine; but too much of a tightening and you start suffocating. Loosen it a bit during a lull and you might well laugh all the way to the bank.

For the sake of all of us and this country, here’ hoping for an early and speedy recovery: Three cheers to the economy, up up hooray!

Customer Disservice

2009-08-05T18:47:00.003+05:30

It’s increasingly becoming fashionable for marketers and marketing students to talk about customer service. If you were to sit in any of the hundreds of boardrooms across this country or if you were to attend a marketing class in any of the thousands of B-schools that dot this nation, you can’t help but think there is an overriding obsession with customer service among the past, present and potential marketers of India.

Is it true? Are we obsessed with customer service?

We are not even close. When it comes to customer service, we are light years away. We are probably better than we were during the socialist era of the past but we still have miles to travel.

Let me list two examples here. These are not run-of-the-mill brands that I am talking about. These are India’s most respected. If this is what the best of India has to offer when it comes to customer service, you can work out the math yourself about others.

These examples are not figments of somebody’s imagination. They are as experienced by yours truly!

Tata Sky: If you were to add a new package to your existing list of channels, all you have to do is just SMS from your registered mobile to Tata Sky customer care centre. A piece of cake you say. But wait till you wish to drop the same package and you would realize the shenanigans of Tata Sky. Nah, you can’t just SMS, you have to call only. It would take an eternity to reach a customer care representative. And till you reach that abominable snowman, the Mr. Big foot, be prepared to listen to hours of bilingual barrage promoting Tata Sky’s scintillating subscription packages and promotions.

HDFC Bank: Okay, you need a loan; all of us do and there are these modern and magnificently customer-oriented private banks that would come running if you care to just lift the phone and call. A representative would come home, assist you in filling the forms, help you with paperwork and have your demand draft delivered in less than 48 hours flat. Great, isn’t it? Only till you wish to prepay the loan. Try calling him and he would only ask you to visit their regional office that could be across the town, if you are lucky or could well be in another city. Travel there and your travails have just begun. You might have to wait in queue for hours, if not days. And the best part is when you ask the teller after repaying your loan what happens to your post-dated cheques that you had submitted. With as much expression as a corpse you would find him or her say, “Some post-dated cheques might still be presented for payment, and if it happens do go and talk to the concerned branch.” And before you try reasoning with the teller you would find him/her say, “Speak to the enquiry counter, not here; next. “

Before I sign off, I would like to share with you what I read long ago about a department store in Michigan U.S. Apparently the store has a plaque right at the entrance of the store that serves as directions to its employees and as an advisory to its customers. Here is what the plaque says:

Marketing Rules Here:

Rule No.1: The customer is always right.

Rule No.2: If you think the customer is wrong, read Rule No.1

Where are the Zoozoos?

2009-07-20T10:49:00.001+05:30

Not too long ago, all of us were talking about the Zoozoos - this blog and yours truly included, though not in the same way most others did.

Where are the Zoozoos now? Whatever happened to them?

The pug is back. Does that mean the Zoozoos are gone….forever? All this raises more questions than I can find answers.

>> The Zoozoos, I am told in an interview by someone at Vodafone, were brought in place of the pug coz they wanted to create something spectacular since the pug reminded people of Hutch and not as much Vodafone. Now, what caused this change? Why bring the pug back? To remind people of Hutch again?

>> First it was ‘Orange’ to ‘Pink’; then it was Hutch to Vodafone; later it was ‘Pug’ to ‘Zoozoos’; and now back to the ‘Pug’ again. So should we expect another change – ‘Vodafone’ back to ‘Hutch’?

>> Isn’t brand and brand communication all about consistency? If you keep creating colours and characters only to drop them the next quarter, are you not being consistent…….in being inconsistent?

>> If the Zoozoos created huge hype, hoopla and hysteria, why drop them? Does that mean Vodafone now realizes all the noise created was created for the Zoozoos and not as much for Vodafone? Did you notice, all of us were saying ‘Did you see the Zoozoo ad’ and not ‘Did you see the new Vodafone ad’ which is how it should have been in the first place?

Isn’t there a lesson for marketers in all this? There is; and it’s easy to figure out what it is. So easy that it doesn’t bear mention here.

Ad guys or Mad guys?

2009-06-24T17:30:00.003+05:30

We all know 20-20 cricket is a funny game. But it seems advertisers and sponsors of the sport are as funny if not more.

The advertisers who had committed advertising and sponsorship monies to ‘ESPN Star Sport’ (ESS) for the recently concluded 20-20 World Cup want them to refund their monies or at least reduce their ad rates for subsequent tournaments.

Why?

Apparently the semi-finals and finals attracted less fans and even lesser eye balls than were expected. You see, India had crashed out of the tournament (and rightly so) and hence the Indian public had lost interest in the tournament and gate crashed in to other parties and had ditched the World Cup. This had affected the fortunes of all the brands that had committed crores of money to ESS. Now, they want ESS to refund their monies or reduce their ad rates for subsequent tournaments.

Does it mean that ESS was solely responsible for India not entering the semi-finals? Should ESS pay for the sins of money-hungry cricketers who masked their injuries, faked good health and screwed up Indian’s chances? Shouldn’t the advertisers realize the possibilities involved in India not making to the last eight before committing their monies? After all, didn’t the same thing happen just a couple of years ago at the Caribbean World Cup when India could not even enter the second stage?

This idea of asking ESS to refund or reduce is sheer stupidity and utter nonsense.

Suppose, if India has made to the semis and, God forbid, the finals and had played Pakistan, and assuming the whole of India had sat in front of the TV and watched it, would these same sponsors pay more than they had committed for the increased viewership? The hell they would.

The advertisers took a gamble and it didn’t pay off. Expecting to get reimbursed for the follies they committed is nothing short of nonsense. ESS should shove the request up the advertisers back. And show their middle finger too for good measure!

This is a true story...

2009-06-01T11:08:00.002+05:30

…that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-care executive. It teaches us many things: the importance of customer service, the outcome of thinking differently; and the value of deciphering the bizarre!

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: 'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family: ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"

The Pontiac President was understandably sceptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.

The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavour. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavour, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavours were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavour.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!

The engineer quickly came up with the answer: vapour lock.

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavours allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.

You see, even crazy looking problems are sometimes real. And all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

Don't just say it is impossible without putting a sincere effort. What really matters is your attitude and your perception.

Remember, ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

The Zoozoos

2009-05-17T12:10:00.000+05:30

Everybody and his uncle seem to love the new Vodaphone ads. I am referring to the series of ads with the zoozoos. You can’t miss them if you follow IPL. They are all over the place.

Being a cartoon lover myself, I enjoyed the hilarity of some of the commercials myself; even more considering the fact that they are not animation but actual people masquerading as cartoon characters. Shot apparently in South Africa, a lot of planning seems to have gone behind to achieve a new perfection in the films. Great show!

But the devil inside me has a doubt. While we love the films for what they are, do we remember what the films are for? Do we know what each of the different ads is trying to say? Here is the construct of a few films. Try and guess what the ad is trying to establish.

A zoozoo comes out of the trial room and screams at another one dressed alike

A zoozoo speaks something in the bottle and throws it at another

Four zoozoos walk on a street together listening to the radio

A zoozoo teasing a crocodile with a fish

Two zoozoos driving a car and crashing at an intersection

Two zoozoos in a restaurant and the girl zoozoo throwing stuff at the other

We know they are all Vodafone ads. But do you know what each of these ads is trying to say? More importantly, how many of us do you think would know what they are trying to say?

The ads are funny and entertaining, no doubt. But on them building awareness about the different value adds of Vodafone, I doubt!

Clerihew

2009-04-28T10:08:00.001+05:30

Do you know Clerihew? No, it’s not a brand or a company or an author of a marketing book. A clerihew is a four-line poem that pokes fun at the famous. It was invented by a British writer named Edmund Clerihew Bentley (1875 – 1956) and hence the name.

Clerihew’s mini verses have three rules: They rhyme aabb; they are about a celebrity named in the first line; and they have no meter. Here is an example that should explain what Clerihew is and how the rules apply.

Actor Harrison Ford
Was feeling extraordinarily bored
So he grabbed his hat and picked up his bones
And starred in yet another Indiana Jones

Now, why am I talking about Clerihews? I just wanted to introduce this interesting concept to you so you could try your hand at it and post your clerihew here. To get you started here is one from me.

A mobile brand called Airtel
Decided to do something fatal
They ventured into DTH under the same name
And realized they were playing a losing game

Mind your own business

2009-04-10T09:04:00.002+05:30

One of the most heartening things about teaching or writing is finding someone who wants to listen and act on what you said or wrote. There have been a few who have written to me after the previous post expressing their wish to start something on their own. A few I bumped into expressed their desire to jump into entrepreneurship as well.

I have never felt any better!

One common refrain I hear though is ‘what business should I start’. My simple answer has been, ‘Whatever that interests you’. You see, you don’t decide to be an entrepreneur and then search for an idea. You get this fantastic idea that makes you want to get into entrepreneurship. In other words, you nurture a dream and go in search of realizing it.

Abdul Kalam in an interview to a Tamil TV channel explained what he meant when he said ‘the young should dream’. He said ‘a dream is not what happens when you sleep. A dream is one that doesn’t allow you to sleep’.

A quote, worth its weight in gold, which should be pasted on every room and etched in everyone’s heart - especially in every aspiring businessman.

To help those looking for the next big idea to venture into business, here are a few. These are virgin ideas – untested and unexplored. Well, that’s why they are virgins, aren’t they!

A book store only for kids: Agreed, there are more than a few book chains and standalone book stores. But my point is, are there many specialist kids’ book stores? A book shop only for kids? A place filled with cartoon characters; kids’ music; smaller racks for kids to browse easily and friendlier staff. Wouldn’t you feel better taking your kids to a pediatrician rather than to the doctor you go to? That’s what a kids’ book store would be for them!

A book store only for English novels: Staying on the subject of book stores, a bulk of books bought is of the fictional kind. So why bury it within philosophy and photography? Why hide fiction among management and material sciences? Why cover it with computers and cooking? Open a store that is filled with fiction – by genres, by authors, by time period, by classics. You can create a place of pure fantasy, unfettered with other nonsense.

A chain of Laundromats: More and more women are going to work; more and more men are choosing to live single; more and more bachelors move to newer towns to study and work. All this means one thing – lots of dirty clothes and no time to clean them. How about a chain of Laundromats a la Yankee style. On a Sunday morning or weekday evening, picky your clothes, walk to your nearest Laundromat, drop a few rupees, dump your dirty clothes, hang around a nearby restaurant or coffee shop, come back, pick up your clean clothes, go home……..live hygienically every after!

Funeral services: This is an idea whose power can be seen, unfortunately at the scene of bereavement. It’s sad when someone passes away. But it’s terrible to run the funeral amidst the loss of a dear one. Minds are numb, feelings are overwhelmed and rationality is clouded with heightened emotions. How could one still plan for everything, administer the arrangements and finalize every little thing. What about a ‘Funeral Services’ company that would enter the scene and execute every little thing smoothly – arranging for purohit, getting the funeral van, booking the cemetery, getting the doctor’s certificate to letting the body be cremated there, cleaning up the house post the departure etc., All for a fee, of course. So the loved ones can share their grief in peace.

Two-wheeler service centre: Aren’t there mechanics and 2-wheeler service centres dime a dozen in every neighbourhood? There is, agreed. But when 2-wheeler owners need to give their vehicles for a service, it’s a day they have to depend on public transport or the unreliable autos since most service centres are closed on Sundays. Now, if only there were a chain of 2-wheeler service centres (now that itself is a relatively new idea) that were open 24x7. You drive back from work or college, drop your vehicle in the 24x7 centre and go home; next day morning, on the way to college or work, you stop by your branded service centre, pick up your beauty and bingo you are on your way. A new idea, wouldn’t you agree!

These are just some starters. I am sure you have an incredible new business idea yourself. Maybe you would want to jump into it later. But if you don’t intend to, don’t let the idea die with you. Post your idea here. It’s as good as organ donation.

Someone might pick it up, pursue it, progress on it and prosper from it. And when the business becomes big, you can probably tell your grandkids that it was your idea.

Who knows, the guy who borrowed your idea might one day come back and buy you a beer!

Let a thousand flowers bloom

2009-03-24T11:12:00.003+05:30

We are living in trying times – trying to get a job; trying to save our jobs; trying to save our monies; trying to keep our heads above waters. While certainly not a recession, the economy is certainly on slow-go mode. It’s more a recession of sentiments.

Truth be told, and I don’t wish to sound Johnny raincloud, this damn slowdown is sure to stay with us for another year or so, if not more.

Many talk about the difficulties of the middle class, the working class, the poor, the aspiring home owners and more. One segment that is facing the wrath of this slowdown, without getting the attention they deserve, is the MBA student who is about to graduate and is searching for a job in these troubled times. The unlucky one searching for a needle in the haystack; the sorry one searching for a buffalo in the middle of the night.

After investing two years and a few lakhs of their parent’s hard-earned money, after going through the grind of a grueling curriculum, after being on the verge of graduation and holding a million dreams of a prosperous job and a peaceful life thereafter, he/she is now left stranded with no jobs around, fewer takers and facing an uncertain future.

While my heart goes out for the about-to-graduate MBA, I also feel a bit disappointed in the attitude of many of them and feel let down by their dreams or rather the lack of it!

Whenever I get an opportunity I have been exhorting MBA students to be entrepreneurs and start a business venture of their own. I mean, why would anyone want to be an employee and take orders when they can be the boss and dictate terms?

I know many feel it easier said than done. Believe me; it’s as easy as it can be done. A fact borne out by the success achieved by many; so many, it doesn’t warrant a second mention here.

So, why would MBA’s gather cold feet about starting a business venture? Here are a few comments that I hear and here’s also what I tell them.

“I need to get some experience first. Let me work for some time and then think of starting a business of my own.”

I wonder if they would say the same to their would-be wife or husband. Will they pick their spouse based on prior experience and past track record? I mean, marriage and business involve the same level of risk. Why need experience in one when you don’t need or wish to have one for the other!

“Why the hurry to start something now? I am young; I have age on my side and can always start something later.”

One might have age on their side when they graduate. But will they have the fire when they reach, say 30? I doubt it. The young blood is risk-taking; the youth has fire in the belly; the inexperienced has the temerity to question established norms. As one reaches 30, one starts losing the exuberance of youth, get married, build a family and then it is all sunset for entrepreneurial dreams. How many of our successful first generation businessmen have started their businesses in their 30’s? A handful, if at all there are any. C.K. Ranganathan, promoter of Cavinkare, while talking to me about his entrepreneurial dreams said the secret of his success was the fact that he didn’t work for anyone and started his business right after college. He said he would have never been able to do what he had done if he hadn’t done it when he was 23. This is from someone who started from scratch and now runs a Rs.500 crore empire.

“I want to learn the business first. Let me learn it first working for others and then start something on my own.”

If you need to learn only by working for others, why would you do MBA in the first place? Isn’t MBA about teaching you the various facets of business and expose you to the art of running one? I wouldn’t agree MBA is just theoretical and one still needs practical knowledge. Then why have case studies in MBA curriculum? Why do projects? Why have summer internships? Why solve real-time corporate problems in the class? MBA is as practical as it is theoretical. Agreed, there is no substitute to experience. But I fail to understand why that experience can’t be gathered starting a venture of one’s own.

“I don’t have money now to start a business.”

Will they have money five years from now? Or ten years from now? And even if they do, they would be so comforted by that money, it would douse any entrepreneurial ambition that might be still left in their genes. Moreover, money has become the least of the obstacles for starting a business venture today. Banks are awash with money waiting for a good project. Angel investors are sitting with their office doors open for the next bright business idea. Venture capitalists are fishing around for that next gen entrepreneur. If you have the idea they have the money. And ready to help you run the business too.

My dear friend, we live in a great country that’s filled with the brightest minds the world has seen. We are at the threshold of golden opportunities. If only we could shed our inhibitions, gather our guts and fire our imagination, the world would become too small to accommodate our dreams and ambitions.

Venturing on your own has its risks, agreed. But it has its rewards too. The risks have, for a long time, been bloated and exaggerated by those who didn’t want to jump into entrepreneurship themselves. That shouldn’t stop you from realizing your dreams.

You can. And when you do, you would be big enough to employ tens if not hundreds or thousands of our fellow countrymen. Imagine what it can do to you; your family; this country. We can all reach the end of the proverbial rainbow – with money in our pockets, peace in our hearts, and prosperity in the nation. This country needs hundreds of C.K. Ranganathans. Take the plunge.

Let a thousand flowers bloom!

Readers’ choice: MM Awards 2

2009-02-22T14:49:00.001+05:30

Regulars could recall the three categories that I threw open for readers’ votes for the Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards 2009: Brand Success of the Year, Marketer of the year and Expected Success in 2009. I didn’t venture my opinion but requested reader participation. While a few had cast their votes for the first two categories, there was hardly any entry for the third.

I could guess two reasons for the non-voting. One, no one wants to put themselves on the line and commit to something. Two, none of you feel there is any brand that could taste success in 2009, given the economic slowdown, falling sentiments etc. Either way, here is my choice for the three awards.

Brand Success of the Year 2008

Without a shade of doubt, 2008’s biggest brand success was the Indian Premier League (IPL). Be it the money it raked in, the interest it generated, the TV viewership it garnered or the advertising it attracted, IPL was the star brand of 2008.

Marketer of the Year 2008

Many had voted for Obama. Agreed Obama won. But guys, Bush had to lose. And that’s why Obama won. In other words, Bush had one of the worst ratings for a President in American history and had to lose. Any Pyjama or Uppuma would have won over Bush. That’s why I don’t consider Obama the Marketer of the year, though he did run a splendid campaign.

Because of the spectacular success of IPL, I grudgingly have to give the Marketer of the Year award to Lalit Modi, the guy who ran the whole show; the accusations of corruption, arrogance etc., levied against him notwithstanding. I believe there is truth in many of the accusations leveled against him but the success he had achieved, coupled with the fact that there weren’t any other brand that had tasted half as much success as IPL, forces me to be objective and hand over the award to him.

Expected Success in 2009

This was a toughie. Not because there were too many brands vying for attention but because there is hardly any in the horizon which remotely even suggest victory at the turnstiles. I am afraid this award is going to go blank this year. That doesn’t mean there isn’t going to be any brand success in 2009. It just means the initial signs of all those brands launched in 2008 aren’t encouraging. (IPL being an exception).

Here is three cheers to all the winners; the ones of my choice and the ones of yours. Even if they don’t match mine!

The Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards 2

2009-02-03T09:50:00.002+05:30

It’s that time of the year; the time when everyone looks forward to the New Year (this post being a trifle late notwithstanding). Yet, this blog looks at the year gone by and attempts to identify the winners, the losers and the jokers!

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards. And the winners are…

Best TV ad of the year: Airtel

I am talking about the ad where the dad ties his wrist along with his son’s to convince his young son he wouldn’t get lost and the son doing the same later in life with an Airtel connection. Rarely do we see such powerful insights in Indian advertising. And even rarely do we see an ad that is strong on strategy while being cute on creative. Without a shade of doubt, the ad of the year!

Brand failure of the year: Kuselan

Kuselan was touted the next big Rajini film after the stupendously successful Sivaji. That Rajini kept insisting that his role in the film was less than 25% got drowned by the hype and hoopla around the film. And when fans turned up in theatres expecting to see Rajini all the way, they were in for a depressing disappointment. Expectedly the crowds gave the film a big thumps down. The distributors ended up with massive losses, the theatre owners with empty seats and Rajini with eggs on his face (sadly though, he didn’t deserve it since he had always maintained he was doing only a guest role in the film). Kuselan, this year’s biggest brand failure of the year.

The brand joke of the year: Airtel Digital TV

You have to hand it to Airtel for making us laugh. I don’t know about you. But I certainly enjoyed Airtel’s sense of humour. Airtel Digital TV! What an idea. What a joke!

Expected failure in 2009: Vivel

What is Vivel? Soap? Yes. What kind of soap? Everything. It has an ayurvedic variant; a natural variant; even a couple of cosmetic variants. Is that all? No, Vivel is a shampoo too. Serious? Yeah, Vivel has a range of shampoos. That’s it? No, Vivel has a premium variant too. Vivel de Wills. Great. What next? Vivel Filter cigarettes? Ladies and gentlemen, expect Vivel to flop without a trace in 2009.

To make this year’s awards a trifle more interactive, I am offering three categories to you to make your choice: ‘Brand Success of the Year’, ‘Marketer of the Year’ and ‘Expected Success in 2009’. Send in your choice, along with your reasons for selection, and let me see if it matches mine!

Remember, this blog is extremely democratic. It always welcomes differing views, countering viewpoints and varied opinions. Yet, the final decision would be unmistakably mine!

Filler 2

2009-01-10T19:39:00.002+05:30

A Quality Engineer married an average girl.

After two tough years of life with her, he got angry and sent a note to his father-in-law stating: "YOUR PRODUCT IS NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS".

The smart father-in-law sent an equally curt reply: "WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE."

Filler

2009-01-10T19:32:00.001+05:30

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I just lost it.'

The judge had just one thing to say: CASE DISMISSED!

The terrorists won. We lost. What next?

2008-12-03T14:50:00.002+05:30

I had wanted to pen my thoughts about the terror strike in Mumbai, the day it occurred. Yet I resisted the urge since I knew my emotions would cloud my judgment (though it’s not necessarily wrong) and my post would just be filled with raging anger, bubbling patriotism and all that.

I wanted to let the dust settle down, literally and figuratively, to help look at the whole incident, or accident if you wish to call it, more objectively. I know everyone and his uncle, newspapers and magazines have all condemned the dastardly act, praised our country’s resilience and have even christened the killing of the terrorists as our great victory over terror.

Did we win?

Run the whole thing down quickly, will you. Terrorists land on the shores of Mumbai, past the patrolling navy and beyond the city police cordon; shoot down people in prime spots – railway stations, pubs, residential complexes and city roads; storm the most iconic hotels of the city; kill more than 200 innocent people, Americans and Jews included; hold out the army, commandos and the police for more than 60 hours; get international media exposure; cause an estimated Rs.50,000 crores of damage both to property and public image; help put the country back on the defensive; force Government to act tough on Pakistan giving them a valid excuse to pull 100,000 lakh of their troops from the Afghan border and move them towards India thus effectively letting Afghanistan-based Muslim militants to move into Pakistan at will. And do all this by losing just 10 of their men (or rather animals).

The terrorists won. We lost. Period.

The terrorists wanted to achieve all of this and they succeeded. They might have planned for more and we might have stopped them. But whatever they wanted, they got. In short, they won; we lost.

Before you get angry and scream at me for blasphemy and downright lack of patriotism, hear me out first. I am seething with anger too. Unlike most of you, I am angry not just because we lost our people, property and our pride. I am also angry because we lost. And I am angry because we needn’t have had to.

This country’s military intelligence had let us down. Or if they had to be believed, the Navy and defense had let us down. Or if they had to be believed, the Central Government had let us down. And if they had to be believed the State machinery had let us down. And all of them together had let hundreds of innocent people down.

But for all of them, Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan would have gone home to be with his parents. A certain Mr. Bannerjee would have gone back to Kolkatta to get married by the end of this month. Mr. Kapoor would have gone back to his office to continue being the Chairman of Yes Bank. And hundreds of others would have gone back home to their loved ones.

Alas, those were not to be.

All of us, you, me, the politicians, the media….the entire system let this great country of ours down. Down the bloody drain.

The politicians made the intelligence apparatus serve their ends and means; the Government, including the Prime Minister’s office, sat on intelligence reports about a possible strike. The media, by covering the entire gruesome attack live, were giving out valuable military information and strike possibilities to the terrorists inside the hotels helping them dodge the commandos. The whole system had gotten immune to all these killings and has learnt to restrict them to mere statistics. And you and me are guilty too for not questioning all this and letting this country rot all these years.

We lost the Mumbai battle. But we haven’t lost the war yet. There is yet hope. Don’t expect the politicians to change; don’t hope for the Government to wake up. But we can. You and me!

The seething rage among us had scared the politicians and the Government apparatus. They have gone into a hiding. Did you notice there was hardly a politician who appeared on TV or were available for an interview. They are shit scared to face the public.

If only we could sustain this pressure. If only we stand united and show our clenched fists and controlled anger at them, the Government and the politicians would act. They would know they don’t stand a chance against us. Remember, we have a powerful weapon among our midst. A nuclear Armageddon. It’s called our ‘vote’. It’s called our ‘voice’. If only we could unleash its power, it will reverberate far more than was heard in the corridors of the Taj.

And once we clean up the mess in our country, we can go hunting. Across the border, if it has to be, and search for all those militants and catch them by the scruff of their necks and first thank them for helping us unite together and then ‘kill those bastards’ one by one!

We owe it to Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan and a hundred others.

The dosa brand and the visa scam

2008-11-12T14:01:00.000+05:30

Saravana Bhavan never fails to dish out hot stuff - within their restaurants; and outside it as well. Chennai’s arguably finest restaurant is in the news again.

But before I get to the news, a few words about Saravana Bhavan if you know precious little about this brand.

Saravana Bhavan was started in 1971 by a guy named Rajagopalan, who started his life as a shop boy and dreamed of making it big in the restaurant business. And boy did be make it big or what!

His hotel – the first choice in south Indian dishes and the last word in taste - became synonymous with impeccable quality and exceptional service. It never advertised in the mass media. The brand’s customers did. Saravana’s customers could never stop talking about its variety of its menu; the delicacy of its offerings; the precision of its servings; and the warmth of its service.

Saravana Bhavan became a case study in more ways than one. Not just in marketing classes and discussions. But in HR practices too. Each one of its employees handpicked from interior Tamil Nadu is trained, ruthlessly, it looks so. Yet treated with utmost care. I understand every employee is insured; given a month’s pay along with leave to visit their loved ones in their hometowns.

No wonder the brand has grown. To more than 50 odd branches – not just here in India, but also all across the globe. If my memory serves me right, Saravana Bhavan has more than a dozen branches in the U.S. alone. And continues to grow at a rate that could put a South American inflation to shame!

Did I say Saravana Bhavan is in the news? Correction; the brand isn’t. Its owners were earlier, and now are again. First, a few years back, its owner Rajagopalan, was caught in a murder case. He was accused of killing a husband whose wife, he had wanted to remarry. That Rajagopalan had a few wives already serving him is another matter altogether. The man who prides in serving 14-idlies, 7-uthampams wanted the same variety in his personal life as well, I presume! The case is still in court and expected to be that way for another decade. His arrest and the case itself continues to hog the headlines to this day.

One of his two sons, Sivakumar, is now in the news. Reason: he had allegedly fabricated visas for four of his employees to take them to the U.S. and get them employed in Saravana Bhavan restaurants there. The press, that constantly craves for brutal rapes, gruesome murders and downright deceptions, has found this news a godsend. It has been hogging the news like it’s the end of the world.

Now, did Sivakumar try to cheat? Is he involved in human trafficking? Did his dad encroach on another’s marital property? Did he murder? Who knows? Who cares? Who bothers?

Not me, definitely.

I don’t care if he and his dad did or didn’t. I don’t give much to their sexual habits or secretive ways. But what interests me is its impact or, more precisely the lack of it, on the brand, Saravana Bhavan.

If you had expected all this negative publicity to impact the brand, you are right in expecting so. Most brands get too intertwined with their founders or the management. Case in point: Kingfisher and Vijay Mallya, Cavinkare and C.K. Ranganathan, Infosys and Narayanamurthy etc., But no, not Saravana Bhavan. The brand continues to march ahead as if nothing happened around it.

I was in two of its outlets these last few days. And it has been business as usual. In fact, I suspect business has even picked up. I had to wait before I could get a chair to park myself to feast on Saravana’s sumptuous offerings. And this was in one of its outlets that had a seating capacity of close to 150! And I was there around 4 P.M. – hardly lunch time you would call.

Is there a lesson for us marketers here? You bet there is. Especially to family-led businesses. The lesson is this: Distance yourself from your brand. Nurture your brand and help it grow and all that. But don’t put your face to the brand. Let the brand have a face of its own. Remember, it could be your baby, but it is public property. It will outlive you; it has to. It grows independently of you. And grows faster. Spreads wider. Lives longer.

Even if you treat yourself on others’ wives or transport human parcels.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaairtel

2008-10-15T13:16:00.000+05:30

“Did you see the latest Airtel ad?”

“The mobile one?”

“No, the other one?”

“You mean landline?”

“No, damn it, the new Airtel ad.”

“Broadband?”

“You moron, I meant the new Airtel ad. The one for DTH.”

“WHAT? You mean, Airtel and Direct-to-Home?”

Surprise, surprise, Airtel – the brand that moved into mobiles, lengthened itself into landline and broadened into broadband is now extending itself into DTH. On second thoughts, after seeing many of its first and second cousins extending their brands, maybe it shouldn’t surprise anyone.

Not, definitely me! Brand extensions have ceased to irritate me any longer. Not that I am buying into it any more. Just that I have given up all hopes of finding a half-decent, common-sense filled MBA who realizes the folly of extensions and avoids it like a plague.

Somebody please tell me, the logic of this Airtel extension.

They are all in telecommunications, you say? Just because there is one ministry that handles all the four products – mobile, landline, broadband and DTH – is no reason the consumer sees it together.

Telecommunications has ceased to mean anything specific any more. When consumers want a phone that they can carry, they simply call it a ‘mobile’. When the want a phone at home, they call it a ‘telephone’. When they want to get connected to the Internet they call it ‘broadband’. And when they want to watch TV with their own dish, they simply call it ‘DTH’. Four separate categories; four separate needs. Hence, a need for four separate brands.

Agreed Airtel has been a stupendous success so far. But that is because their competitors are all extended. Indicom, Reliance, BSNL et al are all three – landline, mobile and broadband. Vodaphone is only into mobiles, but they have been changing their names and colours more often than their brand managers have been changing their shirts. And hence, it trails Airtel.

But, so is the DTH segment. All the key brands are extended. Tatasky is an extension – a brand that means salt at one end and automobiles on the other. Sun Direct is an extension – worse, Sun means South Indian channel. No wonder, it sells, if at all it does, only in the South. DD Direct is an extension – and a Government brand, killing whatever chances it might have had of survival.

That leaves Dish TV - the only specialist brand in the DTH segment. Agreed, it has been promoted by Zee, but it doesn’t have it in its brand name. I expect Dish to lead the pack for sometime to come.

Dish TV is already a leader. And by extending themselves, its competitors have ensured Dish stays that way - a leader, for some time to come!

Customer Service, my foot!

2008-08-29T16:21:00.002+05:30

Landmark, Lifestyle, Globus, Westside, Odyssey…What’s common among all these stores – other than them being big and famous?

None offer adequate place for customers to sit and take a break while shopping. This, in spite of, of many researchers who have time and again proved that ‘customers who stay more in a store end up buying more too’. Yet, finding a chair in most outlets is akin to searching for a needle in a haystack. Agreed, some of these stores have a café tucked in somewhere. But that’s the point. Do you expect a customer to walk all the way to a third floor to sit in a café to rest – a café that’s probably slightly bigger than a bathroom – assuming the stores have one in the first place!

Even worse, stores like Landmark and Odyssey have removed their café from their stores. Reason: the cafes weren’t making money. Thank God these stores haven’t yet removed their parking lots since they don’t make money as well!

If the customer is the king, as is fashionable for us marketers to claim, then why the hell don’t we offer him a throne in our kingdom?

Don’t think the customers don’t care or not taking note of this. Here’s the voice of a hassled customer who finally found a store that offers him a seat to sit and place to rest. It’s a department store chain in the U.S. of A that is well known for customer service – Nordstrom. A chain that specializes in shoes, apparels and the works and is rated (arguably) the best in customer service. The customer in question is a Seattle writer named J. Glenn Evans, who penned this poem, entitled “A Place to Rest” after a visit to Nordstrom.

I followed my wife
while she shopped
From store to store
from window to window
she went

I the great man
was spent
The flesh pulled on my bones
like two bags of cement

At last I found a chair
Heaven only
could have been more fair

Of all the stores
Nordstrom was best
They gave a husband
a place to rest!

Proof yet again: Extensions don’t work!

2008-07-28T20:14:00.001+05:30

For all of you out there, who still believe in the credibility of brand extensions and the validity of its success in the marketplace, here is some more bad news.

Proof, once more, that Brand Extensions work like communism – perfect to preach, pathetic to practice. Put simply, it’s a concept that never works – it never did; it never will!

Two blogs ago I had written about the ‘The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding’. The next blog post – i.e., the recent one - was not a continuation, in the strict sense of the word, and was titled ‘The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing’. Two blogs; yet two completely different topics and content, though the second one looks like an extension of the first.

Note, if you have not already done so, the similarity of the titles. And therein lies the problem – not to me, but to quite a few, who mailed me or called me asking me why I have not yet updated my blog.

Do you realize the problem, their problem that is? They have not seen the second post. But why? Simple. They read my blog ‘The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding’. Subsequently every time they logged back, what did they find? ‘The 22 Immutable Laws of …’ which made them believe they had read it already.

But they hadn’t. They just assumed it was the same as the one they had read earlier. The recent post’s title sounded similar to the previous one and hence ended up confusing them. Just like how brand extension confuses in the marketplace.

One more proof, if I could add in a quirky way, that Brand Extensions don’t work!

The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing

2008-07-23T14:29:00.002+05:30

There are times when Brand Extensions seem to work. Not in the field of marketing though. But when writing marketing books!

The head of the anti-extension brigade - Ries and Trout – wrote a book ‘The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing’ which was subsequently extended by Ries and his daughter 20 years later as ’The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding’.

If you had enjoyed my previous post – the extended brand ‘The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding’ – you would probably like the original – the mother brand, if you will – ‘The 22 Immutable Laws of Marketing’.

Enjoy the extension. Extend the enjoyment!

The Law of Leadership: It’s better to be first than it is to be better. Close Up came first; stays foremost in the tooth gel category, even after some 35-odd years in the running!

The Law of the Category: If you cannot be first in a category, set up a new category you can be first in. Having failed to enter the fairness cream category first, Emami carved a new category out of it to be the first – male fairness creams!

The Law of the Mind: It’s better to be first in the mind than to be the first in the marketplace. Krack was not the first cure for cracked heels though it certainly feels like that.

The Law of Perception: Marketing is a not a battle of products, it’s a battle of perceptions. Samsung, I am told, makes high-end TV’s for Sony. Try telling that to those who think Sony makes the best TV’s in the world!

The Law of Focus: The most powerful concept in marketing is owning a word in the prospect’s mind. Dettol was ‘protection’. Dettol is ‘protection’. Dettol will be ‘protection’. And successful too!

The Law of Exclusivity: Two companies cannot own the same word in the prospect’s mind. Contrary to what many people think, Mercedes and BMW don’t mean the same thing. Mercedes means prestige. BMW means ambition!

The Law of the Ladder: The strategy to use depends on which rung of the ladder you occupy. Clinic Plus is the leader and can try and attempt category expansion. Other brands shouldn’t.

The Law of Duality: In the long run, every market becomes a two-brand race. Proof: Pepsi Vs Coke.

The Law of the Opposite: If you’re shooting for second place, your strategy is determined by the leader. Remember the famous Avis’ ‘We are No. 2; we try harder’ campaign.

The Law of Division: Over time, a category will divide and become two or more categories. Children’s TV channels, for instance, are splintering into English channels (CN, Pogo), Tamil channels (Chutti TV) etc.,

The Law of Perspective: Marketing effects take place over an extended period of time. ATM’s when they were launched failed. But banks persisted and the rest, as they say, is history.

The Law of Line Extension: There is irresistible pressure to extend the equity of the brand. Sunsilk continues to be extended like Draupathi’s saree – without an iota of success, if I may add.

The Law of Sacrifice: You have to give up something in order to get something. Fair & Lovely is the queen of female fairness creams. Fair & Lovely Men’s Active is not going anywhere – except maybe back to Hindustan Unilever factory!

The Law of Attributes: For every attribute, there is an opposite effective attribute. If Coke is old, then Pepsi is young; If ‘The Hindu’s is ‘honest and old-fashioned’, Deccan Chronicle is ‘sleazy and modern’.

The Law of Candour: When you admit a negative, the prospect will give you a positive. Dettol burns and unashamedly admits it. Consumers like that.

The Law of Singularity: In each situation, only one move will produce substantial results.

The Law of Unpredictability: Unless you write your competitors’ plan, you can’t predict the future. Who could have possibly thought a few years ago that the largest manufacturer of cameras in the world would be………….Nokia! Yup, Nokia it is now.

The Law of Success: Success often leads to arrogance, and arrogance to failure.

The Law of Failure: Failure is to be expected and accepted.

The Law of Hype: The situation is often the opposite of the way it appears in the press. Dove shampoo is projected as a runaway success in the marketing pages of business magazines. The story has a different ending in the retail shelves!

The Law of Acceleration: Successful programmes are not built on fads; they are built on trends. Suffola built a brand riding on ‘health’.

The Law of Resources: Without adequate funding, an idea won’t get off the ground. Krd Rys, packed ready-to-eat curd rice, is languishing for want of funds, a receptive market notwithstanding.

The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding

2008-07-02T14:01:00.002+05:30

I just finished reading a fascinating book – The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding. Authored by Al Ries and Laura Ries.

Written in typical ‘Al Ries’ breezy style, the book summarizes the fundamentals of branding. 22 of them to be specific. Most of the laws given in the book are basic, rudimentary and so fundamental that you know most of them – and forgotten many of them too!

Which is why when you read all of them again - in one go, with lots of examples – you realize how much they make sense and how simple Branding actually is.

22 laws might sound a tad too many but the book is worth giving a try. Here are the 22 laws – with a brief description of each one of them. If it interests you enough, you would go and read the entire book. If not, you still would have got the gist of the book – thanks to this blog!

1. The Law of Expansion: The power of a brand is inversely proportional to its scope.

2. The Law of Contraction: A brand becomes stronger when you narrow its focus.

3. The Law of Publicity: The birth of a brand is achieved with publicity, not advertising.

4. The Law of Advertising: Once born, a brand needs advertising to stay healthy.

5. The Law of the Word: A brand should strive to own a word in the mind of the consumer.

6. The Law of Credentials: The crucial ingredient in the success of any brand is its claim to authenticity.

7. The Law of Quality: Quality is important, but brands are not built by quality alone.

8. The Law of the Category: A leading brand should promote the category, not the brand.

9. The Law of the Name: In the long run a brand is nothing more than a name.

10. The Law of Extensions: The easiest way to destroy a brand is to put its name on everything.

11. The Law of Fellowship: In order to build the category, a brand should welcome other brands.

12. The Law of the Generic: One of the fastest routes to failure is giving a brand a generic name.

13. The Law of the Company: Brands are brands. Companies are companies. There is a difference.

14. The Law of Sub-brands: What branding builds, sub-branding can destroy.

15. The Law of Siblings: There is a time and a place to launch a second brand.

16. The Law of Shape: A brand’s logotype should be designed to fit the eyes. Both eyes.

17. The Law of Colour: A brand should use a colour that is the opposite of its major competitor’s.

18. The Law of Borders: There are no barriers to global branding. A brand should know no borders.

19. The Law of Consistency: A brand is not built overnight. Success is measured in decades, not years.

20. The Law of Change: Brands can be changed, but only infrequently and only very carefully.

21. The Law of Morality: No brand will live forever. Euthanasia is often the best solution.

22. The Law of Singularity: The most important aspect of a brand is its single-mindedness.

The Quiz Fizz

2008-06-11T15:07:00.001+05:30

So you took the Marketing Maayaajaalam Quiz after all. I am not going to ask your scores. Keep that to yourself. I intend answering some of the questions raised and comments shared by some of you, with the fond hope that they were raised and shared for that very reason!

Q.1: The ads were probably not intended for us. If the brand is not for us, why should we even recall it?

Fair point. I completely agree with the two who had raised this point. But tell me, if we, marketing students, can’t recall the brand names of the ads that were quizzed, are we to expect the layman – the advertising illiterate, if I can call them such, even if they are the target audience, to recall it with aplomb. Moreover, I had a fair array of categories from which I had picked the ads for the quiz. Don’t tell me you are not the target audience for a Good Day or a Mobile Store or a Citi Card or a Brylcreem! And most of you couldn’t recall these brands from their ads. Sad.

Q.2: It’s perhaps a myth that advertising boosts sales.

Yup, it is absolutely unfair to expect advertising, by itself, to drive sales. After all, advertising is one of the four ‘P’s on offer – all collectively aiming to make the consumer buy. It would be grossly unfair if we expect ‘advertising’ alone to do the job of garnering sales when the other three ‘P’s goof it up. All four ‘P’s need to work in harmony to galvanize a sale. But advertising is the biggest tool in the marketer’s arsenal to stop the consumer and make him/her look at the brand. If the advertising does the ‘attracting-the-consumer-bit’ but fails to add the brand name tag to the advertising, how is the consumer supposed to recall the brand name and buy it? Advertising better establish awareness and build knowledge about the brand in the consumer’s mind. That’s its job. Anything less, and the advertising ceases to be called such.

Q.3: An ad might be the first one to be recalled while its competitor might be the leader in the category.

This happens in many categories. To me, it’s the sign that there is a close competitor breathing down the leader’s neck. Pepsi ads are remembered while Coke is the leader (in most countries). It is a telltale sign that the leader’s leadership is being questioned and the follower’s brand is gaining momentum. A warning to the leader to get its act together. A motivator for the follower to keep pushing. If Vodaphone’s ad and brand recall are higher than Airtel, Bharti better start buckling up.

Q.4: There was nothing unique about the brand name for me to recall it.

That’s the whole point I am trying to drive through this quiz. Call it the fizz of this quiz! The ads in question do not have a property that they can claim to be their own. No clear identity. A lack of a clear and unique thought that envelops the ad and shouts the brand’s name. A singular thought called a ‘Selling Idea’. The one unique concept on which the brand’s advertising is built. A singular thought that ties up all streams of communication across multiple mediums. A powerful idea that unites all brand advertising for a reasonable period of time. A persuasive thought that easily identifies the brand name no matter what medium the communication is on. For Axe the idea is - ‘For young men who like to play the mating game and would like the girl to make the first move’. For Surf it’s ‘dirt is good’. Ideas that are relevant to the consumer; unique; differentiated; and persuasive. Importantly, a Selling Idea is something that represents the brand’s promise. And when the brands that have these unique Selling Ideas advertise, we don’t miss them. No matter how infrequently we see them or how feeble their media decibel levels are.

So…is there anything for us from all this. I think there is. I think the ads, many of the ones quizzed and most of them in general, are creatively cute but are fundamentally flawed. Most, if not all, are bereft of a ‘Selling Idea’. And hence your poor scores when quizzed! The fault lies not with you but with the brands.

Now, take this test. See, if you can identify the brands that the following ads are trying to promote.

1. The ad that starts with a jingle: ‘Washing powder ______’

2. The detergent ad that questions the whiteness of the dress of the person on the screen subsequently followed by a streak of white patch/light passing over the dress making it milky white.

3. The ad with lots of kids drinking something with a jingle in the background that has three interesting words in it: ‘Ipaang Gupaang Japaang’.

4. A dentist talking to a kid/kids about the virtues of strong teeth with some experiment – two shells being smashed to prove the strength of one of them or two chalks immersed in a liquid and one breaking easily when attempted and the other one staying strong.

Did you score better in this version of the quiz? If so, do you realize why you did better this time around?

The Marketing Maayaajaalam Quiz

2008-05-20T20:20:00.001+05:30

What’s a good ad? Is it the one that we love to watch often? Is it the one that is cute, cool and contemporary? Or is it the one that we love to talk about?

If ‘advertising’ is use of mass media to persuade consumers, I urge you to take the Maayaajaalam Quiz. Given below are the creative situations of a few ads - from very popular and very visible advertising that are currently on air. Try and figure out the brands these ads are for?

1. A housewife returns home, searches for her husband and goes around the house calling out his name – Sanju Sanju.

2. In a crowded station, as the train is about to leave, a TTE suddenly gets into a mood and starts dancing as the entire crowd watches him completely amused.

3. A man runs naked through the street and picks up clothes and stuff from shop to shop.

4. Dhoni gets down from his car and starts walking through the village and is greeted by everyone – each with a peculiar hairstyle.

5. Actress Hemamalini and her daughters talk about how they get good, safe and clean drinking water at their home.

6. Bridegroom cries as she leaves her family along with her new husband, sits in her car and the bridegroom switches her shoulder and she starts smiling and he switches her on again and she starts crying again.

7. People from all walks of life – shoppers, people standing in a cue, people at a fast food outlet, all keep swaying from side to side.

8. A young couple checks their new house and the husband, keen on impressing his wife, tries to ask the electrician there some technical questions to prove his competence only to find the electrician answer even more technically and the husband sheepishly agrees and leaves the place along with his wife.

9. A father sees her daughter off after marriage, waves at her and seeing her cry, starts making faces at her and makes her smile.

You would have seen these ads, and seen it many a times - especially with their heavy exposure during the IPL matches. You probably even like a few of them. But the question is, were you able to get the brand name right!

To help you, here are the answers.

1. Max New York Life Insurance
2. Good Day
3. The Mobile Store
4. Brylcreem
5. Kent Water Purifiers
6. Crabtree taps
7. Citi Card
8. Standard Electricals
9. Gitanjali Maya

So, how much did you score? If you scored low, what does it mean?

I am back...

2008-04-22T15:49:00.000+05:30

…from hibernation!

I could give a lot of excuses for this two-month lull: hectic traveling, heavy workload, heightened pressures and so on. And true too. Yet there’s another hidden reason – my laziness!

I promise I won’t hibernate hereafter. You would see frequent updates here. If frequency means ‘every fortnight’.

I am probably making it sound like there’s a whole bunch of guys out there who wish to see me here often. I got a few calls; received more than a couple of reminders and presume there are a few good souls who wish to see me write often. God bless you nice souls…and hope you have a satisfying sex life till 80!

This time, I wish to continue on the Hindu Vs TOI issue that we discussed a few blogs back.

Times of India, indeed, has been launched in Madras on April 14th. It's too early to comment on what TOI has done, how people perceive it etc., Let’s give it some time and see how things unfold.

But what’s interesting is not what TOI has done. But how The Hindu has reacted.

The venerable ‘Maha Vishnu of Mount Road’ has slashed its price downwards. The weekday paper is now Rs.2.50 – down from the previous Rs.3.25. The Sunday edition is just Rs.3 vis-à-vis the previous Rs.4.50. Note the TOI is Rs.2 on weekdays and Rs.3 on Sundays.

You call it panic? You call it smart pricing?

I call it competition. I call it capitalism. The consumer can now laugh all the way to the bank. Even if it is to deposit a mere 75 paise every day!

All this makes me wonder why these newspapers were charging so high all these days; fleecing us all this time. Recall how these newspapers jacked up their price at every given opportunity, with an apologetic sounding due-to-increase-in-newsprint-rates-we-are-forced-to-increase-our-price blah blah.

To put things in perspective, newsprint prices have just increased world over by around 35% in the last few weeks.

Whatever be it, if any of you needed any proof on what capitalism can do to you and me, here is it in black and white….and literally too! Competition benefits consumers!

Now just imagine the scenario if only we let foreign newspaper brands launch their editions here. Envisage the ensuing competition. Visualize the consequent price war. Picture the payback to us consumers. Who knows, there might even be a newspaper that would pay us money to read it.

Wishful thinking you laugh?

Today if a Virgin mobile could pay us 10 paise for every minute of incoming call, why not a newspaper tomorrow pay us Re.1 for reading it every morning?

Caution: Brains at work!

2008-02-26T09:38:00.001+05:30

A smart marketing idea is always a big turn on! I intend bringing to you, on and off, some of the smart ideas that I come across or have heard from elsewhere. Who knows, these ideas could well help your brands, or at the least, would help you be aware of some smart brains at work.

Don’t forget to share the smart ones you come across as well.

Here are a few to begin this series….

Touch-it Paper in Ogden, Utah - Phone no. (801) 394-430 - makes cards on coloured, heat-sensitive paper. When you touch them, they change colour. People like to play with them, so they keep them, show them around, and remember them.

High Life, a brewpub in Philadelphia, U.S.A, offers a ‘Master of Beer Appreciation’ (MBA) Certificate. Customers have to have their transcripts stamped by sampling four new brews a month. Eventually customers get a degree and a T-shirt declaring their mastery. At last, a chance to get a meaningful degree, I suppose!

The Hawaii Prince Hotel greets new registrants with a hot, moist, steamed washcloth. It’s a great extra, and it gets them considerable word of mouth and publicity as well when they have speakers or writers who stay with them and then tell the story.

Champs-Elysees, a restaurant in Sausalito, faxes the day’s specials to customers in the morning, and then takes phone or fax orders for delivery or pickup latter. A real hot idea, pun intended!

Breaking News: The Hindu Vs Times of India

2008-02-02T13:46:00.000+05:30

Being an avid reader of The Hindu all these years, for the first time I am going to guess its headlines! Or rather what they should or would be doing in response to TOI’s entry.

TOI is indeed wooing consumers with a reduced subscription fee and some freebies thrown in as well. They might end up picking a few trials.

But what matters is who would be the first buyers of TOI – the innovators, so to speak. I believe the initial TOI triallists would be largely from The Indian Express or Deccan Chronicle. These guys are flirts. They flirt with papers. They just flirted with DC in response to their reduced price offer, didn’t they? And here is another newspaper, a supposedly reputed one, offering a paper at around the very price they are paying for currently!

Oh yes, a few Hindu readers too would give TOI a try succumbing to the novelty factor, reduced price and freebies. But the question is, ‘will they stop buying The Hindu’? My take on that would be – NO. I think TOI would end up being the second paper in their households. Many of us picked up Deccan Chronicle induced by the ‘Rs.99 offer’. But that didn’t stop us from buying The Hindu. We read DC as the second paper and when we realized The Hindu was unquestionably better, we stopped renewing the DC subscription.

Which is why I don’t suppose The Hindu should panic and reduce its price; not right away at least. After all, it not only enjoys leadership. It also entertains loyalty.

So what does this mean to The Hindu?

For starters, it gives them time. Time to understand how the few initial triallists perceive TOI; its contents; its gossips and whatnot. If TOI brings in a few new things that consumers perceive The Hindu lacks, they can always add it without affecting the brand’s basic positioning and thrust. For instance, if TOI brings in breeziness and gossip that appeals to the young, The Hindu can always add it as a separate supplement. That way, ‘The Hindu’ could bridge the need gaps without breaching its basic positioning.

The Hindu should also counter TOI with an Integrated Marketing campaign of its own. Not just through advertising. But also through a concerted effort in schools with its Young World and Quest supplements; a well-orchestrated programme in A&S colleges, B-Schools, Engineering Institutions with its Education Plus; a direct marketing effort in the very neighbourhoods TOI is targeting; convening special events, activities around The Hindu’s core positioning. All this and more to counter TOI’s launch efforts and also extend its lead – both in market and in mind terms.

Does all this sound too simple? Would The Hindu be made vulnerable if doesn’t match TOI’s price, at least initially? Am I underestimating the power of TOI?

TOI is a leader all right. But that’s in a distant market. Far away from my mine and hence my mind. Here, The Hindu is the big shark. TOI is a new entrant – a small fry. You could say, “But look at what TOI did to Hindustan Times in New Delhi.” Remember, The Hindu is no Hindustan Times. Hindustan Times is a newspaper. But The Hindu is a habit! Didn’t they say old habits die hard!

And finally, from a broader strategic standpoint, The Hindu should jettison its conservative style and start becoming aggressive. To begin with, they need to now go and hit TOI where it hurts them most – Mumbai. The best way to counter competition is to hit them in their biggest market. That slows them down. I am not, for a minute, saying The Hindu, if launched, would eliminate TOI in Mumbai. But it would certainly stop TOI’s aggression in other markets if their own home turf were invaded.

Well, these are not what I expect The Hindu to do. Just a few things I would want them to do!

Will they do it? What would happen if they did? And what if they don't?

Time will tell. It’s interesting times ahead!

The Hindu Vs Times of India

2008-01-22T09:26:00.000+05:30

Times of India is apparently readying itself to launch its Chennai edition. At Rs.2. These are unconfirmed reports though.

The average Madrasi has heard this many times before but this time it seems to be more real. TOI has been handing over advertising materials and soliciting subscriptions in select neighbourhoods in the city.

A few newsagents I spoke to confirmed TOI’s entry. One of them said something that is the subject matter of this blog: “Sir, The Hindu is planning to reduce its price and sell at Rs.2, to counter TOI”.

Assuming TOI would price itself at Rs.2, will the venerable Hindu reduce its price?

Why should it, some may ask. After all, it countered Deccan Chronicle’s Re.1 assault without reducing its price. And successfully too.

But this is TOI - with a respected pedigree and roaring circulation that has made it the leader among English newspapers in India.

Will ‘The Hindu’ be cheapening its image if it panicked and reduced its price?

Or, if it didn’t, and stay put at its current price, will its die-hard users ditch The Hindu. After all, The Hindu has been the reason why most Madrasis woke up! Will they wake up to TOI instead, to save a few bucks.

Will TOI pull the rug under ‘The Hindu’? Or would the grand old man of Mount Road send TOI packing back.

What do you think The Hindu should do?

The 2007 Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards

2007-12-20T21:15:00.000+05:30

The 2007 Marketing Maayaajaalam awards for various categories in marketing and advertising have been announced. By me, of course!

…and the winners are…

Marketer of the Year

Maruthi Suzuki (For ramping up its image, literally, and growing into competing with the big boys viz., GM, Ford and Honda. First, from the small Alto to a redefined Zen growing into the superb Swift and now culminating into the sexy SX 4. The Maruthi men are back!)

Best Brand Launch of the Year

Sivaji (For spectacular hype, superlative build-up, smart distribution, slick presentation and superb packaging…. a tired and hackneyed story notwithstanding)

Best TV ad of the Year

The HDFC Prudential Campaign (If not for anything, at least for consistently building on a singular creative idea – Hold your head high up with pride)

Worst TV ad of the Year

Bingo (The guys at O&M who made those ads claim they attempted humour. In that case the Bingo ads win hands down in the ‘Sick Jokes’ category)

Best Baseline of the Year

Sivaji – The Boss (For capturing the essence of the film and its hero in two words. That the baseline proved yet again who the evergreen boss of commercial success in the Indian film industry is, is another matter)

Expected Success in 2008

Krd Rys (With increasing nuclear families, working wives and growing preference for healthy food, a smart idea from Hatsun Agro Foods)

Expected Failure in 2008

Dettol Herbal (Can Dettol and its inimitable hospital smell ever be herbal? Who are the geniuses in Reckitt Benckiser kidding?

I don’t expect you to agree with this list. Feel free to feedback. That’s the point of this blog!

And oh yes, here is wishing you a SUCCESSFUL 2008!

Neuromarketing: What lies ahead?

2007-12-12T09:07:00.000+05:30

The early experiments in this field have already started to worry anti-marketing activists, some of whom are already mobilizing against the nascent field of neuromarketing. Gary Ruskin of Commercial Alert, a non-profit organization that argues for strict regulations on advertising, says "a year ago almost nobody had heard of neuromarketing except for Forbes readers." Now, he says, it's everywhere.

Over the past year he has waged a campaign against the practice, lobbying Congress and the American Psychological Association (APA) and threatening lawsuits against BrightHouse and other practitioners. He says it could eventually lead to complete corporate manipulation of consumers -- or citizens, with governments using brain scans to create more effective propaganda.

Could brain imaging show marketers how to effectively control our minds?

BrightHouse’s Reiman says no. “There is no possibility that in my lifetime we’ll be able to peer into brains and make them buy more. But businesses that do not use neuroscience are experimenting with failure. These studies will help to position companies as more consumer friendly.”

Chris Frith, Professor of Neuropsychology at the Institute of Neurology in London, prefers to look beyond the hype. “People have the idea that because you are using big, expensive equipment it is more real than asking what people think. They think they have got an easy way to get the information the want – a short cut. But it is very important to consider the subjective measures. If we see from scans that someone is happy, but they say that they aren’t, who do we believe?”

Montague agrees that ultimately behaviour is what matters. “Brain imaging isn’t more accurate than other techniques. You will never get rid of psychology and behavioural studies – that’s your ultimate end. But you do want more insight and imaging can provide it.”

Montague predicts that fMRI will become a tool for testing packaging, advertising and other promotional material. “If I am an auto manufacturer and want to change the curvature of the wheel well of my car model, how will my target 35 year old male respond? I will supplement my research with fMRI. And if I was buying something, I am ok with them using brain imaging to make me happier.”

Reiman prefers to dwell on the fundamental nature of neuromarketing research to date. “We can’t understand thoughts, but we can interview the brain and we expect what we will find will change the way companies work.”

Hopefully, for the better!

Nuromarketing - Experimental first steps

2007-12-04T09:28:00.000+05:30

Some companies are commissioning their own fMRI studies à la Montague's test.

In a study of men's reactions to cars, Daimler-Chrysler has found that sportier models activate the brain's reward centres -- the same areas that light up in response to alcohol and drugs -- as well as activating the area in the brain that recognizes faces, which may explain people's tendency to anthropomorphize - attribute form or personality to inanimate products like cars or other such lifestyle products.

Steven Quartz, a scientist at Stanford University, is currently conducting similar research on movie trailers.

Political advertising is also getting in on the game. Researchers at the University of California, Los Angeles have found that Republicans and Democrats react differently to campaign ads showing images of the September 11th terrorist attacks. Those ads cause the part of the brain associated with fear to light up more vividly in Democrats than in Republicans.

While neuroscientist Montague's Pepsi Challenge suggests that branding appears to make a difference in consumer preference, BrightHouse's research promises to show exactly how much emotional impact that branding can have.

Marketers have long known that some brands have a seemingly magic appeal; they can elicit strong devotion, with buyers saying they identify with the brand as an extension of their personalities. The BrightHouse research is expected to show exactly which products those are.

"This is really just the first step," says Meaux, who points out that no one has discovered a ‘buy button’ in the brain.

But with more and more marketers peeping into the minds of their consumers, could that be far off?

(To be concluded)

Neuromarketing - Continued

2007-11-24T09:21:00.000+05:30

Neuromarketing is the study of the brain's responses to ads, brands, and the rest of the messages littering the cultural landscape. Montague had his subjects take the Pepsi Challenge while he watched their neural activity with a functional MRI machine, which tracks blood flow to different regions of the brain. Without knowing what they were drinking, about half of them said they preferred Pepsi.

But once Montague told them which samples were Coke, three-fourths said that drink tasted better, and their brain activity changed too. Coke lit up the medial prefrontal cortex - a part of the brain that controls higher thinking. Montague's surmise was that the brain was recalling images and ideas from commercials, and the brand was overriding the actual quality of the product.

The work of Montague and other studies prove that branding goes far beyond images and memory recall. The medical prefrontal cortex is a part of the brain known to be involved in our sense of self. It fires in response to something – an image, name or concept – that resonates with who we are. Something clicks, and we are more likely to buy.

For years, in the face of failed brands and laughably bad ad campaigns, marketers had argued that they could influence consumers' choices. Now, there appeared to be solid neurological proof. Montague published his findings in the October 2004 issue of Neuron.

And an entire new field, Neuromarketing, was born!

But the secret of Coke’s marketing success has yet to be solved. “We have shown that the Coke brand has a powerful influence,” says Montague. “But we haven’t asked what that is yet. Is it something simple and stupid like the red can, the curvy script or the hard consonants, or something much more complex.”

Still, the idea that neuroscience has applications for business is causing a wave of excitement in the marketing sector. It prompted the BrightHouse Institute for Thought Sciences to establish a Neurostrategies division and conduct fMRI research.

(To be continued)

P.S: Notes and quotes in this series on Neuromarketing have been borrowed heavily from various research writings on the subject. My contribution is close to nil!

The Pepsi Challenge

2007-11-04T09:40:00.000+05:30

Strange things happen in America. Stranger things happen in marketing there. For instance, while Coke is the leader in the American market, most people prefer the taste of Pepsi in blind tests!

The Pepsi Challenge has been an ongoing marketing promotion run by PepsiCo since 1975. The challenge is designed to be a direct response to critics who allege that Coca-Cola and Pepsi-Cola are identical drinks, with no meaningful differences.

The challenge took the form of a taste test. At public contact points, a Pepsi guy set up a table with two blank cups: one containing Pepsi and one containing Coke. People were encouraged to taste both colas, and tell which one they prefer. Then the Pepsi guy revealed the two bottles so the taster can see whether they preferred Coke or Pepsi. Not surprisingly, or maybe surprisingly, the preferred brand was Pepsi.

Ever since the famous findings of the Pepsi Challenge, marketers have argued that the difference between this perception and reality was the handiwork of ‘Marketing’. In other words, their work was making a difference! How else could Coke come on top?

The Pepsi Challenge, subsequently, moved into TV during the 70s and 80s where a series of ads showed how Americans preferred Pepsi to Coke.

But 30 years after the commercials debuted, neuroscientist Read Montague was still thinking about them. Something didn't make sense. If people preferred the taste of Pepsi, the drink should have dominated the market. It didn't.

So in the summer of 2003, Montague gave himself a 'Pepsi Challenge' of a different sort: to figure out why people would buy a product they didn't particularly like.

What he found was the first data from an entirely new field: Neuromarketing.

(To be continued in my next post)

Classifieds. This time from the Church!

2007-10-09T16:51:00.001+05:30

These are actual classified ads released by a few churches from around the world. Note, there is no offence intended on any religion or characters. I am no Tamil Nadu C.M to be barbaric enough to cast aspersions on any religious sentiments.

Just laugh at the gaffes. Over to the church classifieds!

"Open seven days a week and weekends."

"This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends”.

"For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs”.

"Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early”.

"Wednesday the ladies liturgy will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing "Put me in my little bed" accompanied by the pastor”.

"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter”.

Funny Classified Ads

2007-09-30T21:43:00.000+05:30

Supposedly, these are actual classified advertisements that have appeared in papers, unfortunately not in India. Enjoy!

"A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms”.

"For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers”.

"Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover”.

"Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too”.

"Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory”.

"Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night”.

"We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand”.

"Used cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first”!

"Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once; you'll never go anywhere again”.

"Illiterate? Write today for free help”.

Meet Procter & Gamble

2007-09-15T08:49:00.000+05:30

In the vast world of marketing and advertising, James Stengel just may be the king. He is P&G's global marketing officer, a post he has held for six years when the average tenure of a chief marketing officer is less than two. Stengel sat down recently with Fortune 's Geoff Colvin to talk about consumer power, the value of brands, the decline of mass media etc. Edited excerpts follow.

What's the best marketing you've seen lately?

Outside P&G, I think Harry Potter. You had to be dead to miss it. The whole way that Harry Potter has engaged people has been a phenomenon that any brand or business would aspire to.

You are in a great position to evaluate consumer trends. What is the most important thing you are seeing?

The biggest thing going on with consumers is that they want to trust something. They want to be understood, they want to be respected and they want to be listened to. They don't want to be talked to. People really do care what's behind the brand, what's behind the business. They care about the values of a brand and the values of a company. We can never forget that. Businesses and brands that are breaking records are those that inspire trust and affection and loyalty by being authentic, by not being arrogant, and by being empathetic to those they serve.

'Immersion research' means you spend time with consumers in their homes or other settings, rather than in focus groups. Can you explain?

At P&G, we all do that kind of thing. We all go out and really spend time with consumers, especially those who are not like us. I had a wonderful field visit in Latin America on a recent trip - I went into the home of a woman who had very little money. She was tremendously proud of her children and her home. Our brands play an important role in her household, because though she didn't have much disposable income, she spent some of it on the kind of brands that we sell. It was important to understand what role our brands played in her life.

Two years ago P&G was spending 85% of its marketing budget on 30-second TV spots. What is the proportion now, and what will it be in five years?

The trend of the past five years will continue, which is that TV advertising will go down as a percentage of our spending, and we will continue to move money to where the consumers are. The interesting news in all of this is that consumers are spending more time with media than ever. If the content is good, consumers will spend an awful lot of time with media. That is what Harry Potter proved.

It is very difficult to maintain a tangible product advantage for any length of time. Is that a problem for P&G?

No, it's not a problem. I hate it when someone says they're in a commodity category. We don't accept that there are any commodity categories. We are growing Charmin and Bounty very well, and if there is any category that people could say is a commodity, it's paper towels and tissues. We have developed tremendous equities, tremendous loyalties from our consumers. So, no, I think that is a cop-out. That is bad marketing and an excuse.

What gives a brand power?

If you go back at P&G, and in a lot of the industry, we often thought of our brands in terms of functional benefits. But the equity of great brands has to be something that a consumer finds inspirational and an organization finds inspirational. You know, our baby-care business didn't start growing aggressively until we changed Pampers from being about dryness to being about helping mom with her baby's development. That was a sea change. Or look at all the different areas we are in at Olay. That's because Olay is not just about being a pink fluid that moisturizes. It is about helping women look better and feel better as they age.

What's been the biggest change in yourself as you have adapted to this changing world of media and marketing?

There is so much to learn and there are so many interesting things happening, inside and outside the company. It is important to be inquisitive, to be searching. When I travel, I always think, is there a thought leader who is doing something interesting who I can drop in on? I always ask people their reaction to our company and what they are doing.

Classified ads....from a small-town daily!

2007-09-10T09:32:00.000+05:30

Monday
FOR SALE - R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Phone 555-0707 after 7 p.m. and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him cheap.

Tuesday
NOTICE - We regret having erred in R. D. Jones’ ad yesterday. It should have read: One sewing machine for sale. Cheap: 555-0707 and ask for Mrs. Kelly who lives with him after 7 p.m.

Wednesday
NOTICE - R. D. Jones has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in his classified ad yesterday. His ad stands corrected as follows:
FOR SALE - R. D. Jones has one sewing machine for sale. Cheap. Phone 555-0707 and ask Mrs. Kelly who loves with him.

Thursday
NOTICE - I, R. D. Jones, have NO sewing machine for sale. I SMASHED IT. Don't call 555-0707, as the telephone has been disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Kelly. Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she quit."

Job Sense

2007-09-03T10:41:00.000+05:30

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped few centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, and then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!”

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."

The driver replied, "Sorry, actually it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver. I have been driving a van carrying dead bodies for the last 25 years.”

A story for workaholics

2007-08-23T11:14:00.000+05:30

Last Saturday morning as I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice.

"Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's dance recital he continued. "Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities." And he began to explain his theory of a ‘thousand marbles’.

"You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about 75 years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about 75 years. Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in his lifetime.

It took me until I was 55 years old to think about all this in any detail", he went on, "and by that time I had lived through over 2,800 Saturdays." "I got to thinking that if I lived to be 75, I only had about a 1,000 of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought 1000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container."

"Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life. There is nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight."

"Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time."

"It was nice to meet you Tom, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band."

You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning. Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. "C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast."

"What brought this on?" she asked with a smile.

"It's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles."

Customer Care Sense

2007-08-16T11:12:00.000+05:30

A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single United Airlines employee was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers.

Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I have to be on this flight and it has to be first class."

The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out."

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 who does not know who he is. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the United Airlines employee, gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!"

Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that, too."

Economic Sense

2007-08-08T14:08:00.000+05:30

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the head of the family, so call me the Prime Minister. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The maid, we'll consider the working class, and your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now think about that and see if it makes any sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the maid's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the maid. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "The Prime Minister is screwing the working class while the government is sound asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit.”

Shit Marketing

2007-07-27T20:26:00.000+05:30

Some things certain marketers do just amaze me – that they were done at all! I can understand a strategy that’s poorly conceived or a tactic that goes horribly wrong. But self-inflicted stupidity is something that never ceases to amaze me.

For instance, if you travel north on TTK Road from Adyar Park, in Madras, you will find a hotel on the right just before Alwarpet junction. The hotel is named ‘One Way’!

What are they trying to say? That you can go in; but you won’t be able to come out???

But the winners in this game, without a shade of doubt, are the marketing wizards of the brand, Kaya Clinic. What did they do? Nothing. Just that they happen to be lead sponsors of a fantastic programme on Discovery Channel titled ‘Seconds to Disaster’.

Ladies and Gentlemen, here is exactly how the sponsorship sounds on the channel:

‘SECONDS TO DISASTER’ IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY KAYA CLINIC.

Now, what are the respected Indian Ivy League MBA’s running the brand trying to tell us? Entering Kaya Clinic is just seconds to disaster???

Shit Marketing!

Ah Marketing!

2007-07-21T19:08:00.000+05:30

Boeing recently launched a new brand of airplane – 787 Dreamliner – in its headquarters, Seattle. In an unprecedented move – for marketing in general and Boeing in particular – the launch event was broadcast live via webcast in nine languages across 45 countries.

In all, the 787 premiere potentially reached 100 million or more viewers, making it one of the largest corporate TV and Internet broadcasts in history.

To date, 47 customers worldwide have ordered 677 airplanes worth a staggering $110 billion making the Dreamliner the most successful commercial airplane launch in history.

What’s the big deal, you wonder.

The launch was meticulously designed to be on 8th July 2007.

So? You ask.

The 787 was launched on 7-8-07.

Ah marketing!

P.S: Americans use month first and then the date. Remember 9-11.

Advertising Sense

2007-07-16T20:29:00.000+05:30

An ad team is working very late at night on a project due the next morning. Suddenly, a Genie appears before them and offers to grant them all one wish.

The Copywriter says: "I've always dreamed of writing the great American novel and having my work studied in schools across the land. I'd like to go to a tropical island where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece." The Genie says "No problem!" And poof! The Copywriter is gone.

The Art Director says: "I want to create a painting so beautiful that it would hang in the Lourve Museum in Paris for all the world to admire. I want to go to the French countryside to work on my painting." The Genie says, "Your wish is granted! And poof! The Art Director is gone.

The Genie then turns to the Account Executive and says "And what is your wish?" The poor hapless Account Executive who is fighting a client deadline says with a stern face, "I want those two assholes back here right now."

Retail Sense

2007-07-09T11:20:00.000+05:30

A retailer was dismayed when a competitor selling the same type of product opened next-door to him, displaying a large sign proclaiming ‘Best Deals’.

Not long after he was horrified to find yet another competitor move in next-door, on the other side if his store. Its large sign was even more disturbing- ‘Lowest Prices’.

After his initial panic, and concern that he would be driven out of business, he looked for a way to turn the situation to his marketing advantage. Finally, an idea came to him. Next day, he proudly unveiled a new and huge sign over his front door.

It read, ‘Main Entrance’!

Sales Sense

2007-07-03T18:01:00.000+05:30

A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.

"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his interview.

"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered. The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day. "I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.

The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting slumped and exhausted, in a chair. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.

"One," said the lad.

"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"

"Exactly $101,334,533," said the young man.

"How did you manage that?" asked the boss, flabbergasted.

"Well," said the lad, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he'd probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy 22-foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn't be able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him new GMC 1-ton pickup truck."

"You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook?" the boss asked in astonishment.

"He came in to buy a box of sanitary napkins for his wife, and I said to him, "your weekend's shot. You might as well go fishing."

Business Sense

2007-06-27T16:03:00.000+05:30

A factory’s marketing manager takes a visiting customer on a tour of a latex products factory.

At the first stop, he's shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise.

"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the marketer. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."

Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!"

"Wait a minute!" says the customer. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?"

"Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."

"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"

"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"

The Power of PR

2007-06-14T11:40:00.000+05:30

I just finished reading ‘The Fall of Advertising & the Rise of PR’. The title actually is a misnomer. The authors, Al Ries and Laura Ries, are not proposing that advertising is dead and buried. Instead they claim advertising isn’t as powerful as it used to be and should be used more as a support to a well-orchestrated PR plan.

Their theory is simple: Build brands with PR and once it is established maintain it with advertising. They give enough and more case studies of brands that have taken this route: Microsoft, Starbucks, Body Shop, Linux, PlayStation, Viagra etc.,

I would strongly recommend this book to you irrespective of where you are - advertising, marketing or PR. Nicely written, neatly presented with powerful examples…the book could be described with the clichéd word ‘unputdownable’!

And as irony would have it, the next book I just picked up to read (which is still work under progress) is an old classic (all classics are old, right!) - All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. A book that became popular not by advertising but by brilliant PR and word of mouth. The story of its popularity is presented in the front flap cover of the book itself. I quote it verbatim:

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten began as Robert Fulghum’s attempt to write a simple credo. In his capacity as a Unitarian minister, he shared his statement of belief with his congregation and then read it at a primary school celebration. As fate would have it, Washington’s Senator Dan Evans was in the audience. Impressed and touched by what he had heard, he requested a copy of Robert Fulghum’s speech and took it back with him to Washington, D.C., where it was eventually read into the Congressional Record.

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten made its way from Washington to the Kansas City Times, which ran Robert Fulghum’s observations in its Sunday edition. The response was overwhelming.

The snowball of enthusiasm keeps building. Portions of the piece were printed in ‘Dear Abby’ and Reader’s Digest. Paul Harvey and Larry King read it to millions on their radio shows and Southwestern Bell sold hundreds of thousands of copies as a poster to its customers. Robert Fulghum’s simple credo was photocopied, sent to loved ones and posted on bulletin boards at schools throughout the country.

The book went on to sell more than millions around the world. All this and more accomplished without a single shred of advertising!

Marketers Vs Accountants

2007-06-03T21:57:00.000+05:30

Three marketers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three marketers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.

They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three marketers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the marketers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the marketers don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.

When they board the train, the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three marketers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the marketers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

Is economics boring?

2007-05-21T09:17:00.000+05:30

I find it surprising when most students I meet say economics is a boring subject. I find it even more appalling when MBA’s and marketing majors say it. Well, they would do well to know that economics is the mother of marketing. Most marketing theories be it consumer behaviour, market dynamics, competition, pricing and more have all been derived from economic theory.

If you subscribe to the view that economics is boring, or even worse, that economics is not for me, I intend correcting your opinion about economics. Not by telling how economics is useful but by telling you how it is not boring…by listing a few hilarious quotes from economics. Enjoy!

An economist is somebody who sees something happen in practice and wonders if it will work in theory.

A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'

All the great economic ills the world has faced can be directly traced back to the London School of Economics.

Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

The first law of economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist. The second law of economists: They're both wrong.

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women.

Government's view of the economy could be summed up thus: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.

Prosecute the protectionists

2007-05-11T20:02:00.000+05:30

One of the many things that dominate the marketing scene these days has got nothing to do with marketing. It’s got to do with stupid politics (well, when was politics anything else). It’s the increasing clamour by politicians and spineless businessmen and some stupid sections of public who get swayed by the formers’ arguments – a clamour for protection – ‘save the small retailer from the threat of multinational monsters, ‘protect small industry from the tyranny of foreign competition’ etc.

All the arguments bandied about in support of protection could be rebutted with impeccable economic logic but allow me to quote a funny anecdote from the annals of economic history. It’s called ‘the Candlemakers’ Petition’.

The Candlemakers' Petition is a well-known satire of protectionism written and published in 1845 by the French economist Frédéric Bastiat as part of his Economic Fallacies. In the Candlemakers' petition, the candle makers and industrialists from other parts of the lighting industry petition the Chamber of Deputies of the French July Monarchy (1830–1848) to protect their trade from the unfair competition of a foreign power.

Guess who the foreign power is? Therein lies the satire! I have abridged the actual petition here. Enjoy.

“We are suffering from the ruinous competition of a rival who apparently works under conditions so far superior to our own for the production of light that he is flooding the domestic market with it at an incredibly low price; for the moment he appears, our sales cease, all the consumers turn to him, and a branch of French industry whose ramifications are innumerable is all at once reduced to complete stagnation.

This rival is none other than the sun!

We ask you to be so good as to pass a law requiring the closing of all windows, dormers, skylights, inside and outside shutters, curtains, casements, bull's-eyes, deadlights, and blinds -- in short, all openings, holes, chinks, and fissures through which the light of the sun is wont to enter houses, to the detriment of the candle industry.

Be good enough, honourable deputies, to take our request seriously, and do not reject it without at least hearing the reason. If you shut off as much as possible all access to natural light, and thereby create a need for artificial light, the candle industry in France will ultimately be encouraged.

Will you tell us that, though we may gain by this protection, France will not gain at all, because the consumer will bear the expense?

We have our answer ready: You no longer have the right to invoke the interests of the consumer. You have sacrificed him whenever you have found his interests opposed to those of the producer. You have done so in order to encourage industry and to increase employment. For the same reason you ought to do so this time too.”

If you wish to read the entire petition here is the place to find it:
http://www.ccsindia.org/ccsindia/lacs/25candlemakers_petition.pdf

Read this, especially the next time you feel there should be some industry that needs to be protected from competition.

Is more the merrier?

2007-05-02T19:08:00.000+05:30

…. maybe in life, but definitely not while your are positioning your brand or offering a promise. Brevity is the soul of wit and brand positioning.

Lux is glamour.
Dettol is protection.
Axe is sexual attraction.
Close Up is fresh breath.

What is Colgate? Yup, protection.

And what is Pepsodent? Protection, again?

How can two brands in the same category have the same positioning and still survive to tell the tale? They both did, didn’t they? Colgate has around 40% market share and Pepsodent has around 20% or so.

Pepsodent was younger; has far more modern imageries and is probably more kiddish than Colgate, which is older, serious and motherly. And Pepsodent has a strong ‘reason to believe’ – Germi-check formula (whatever that meant!).

And then something happened. The marketing whiz kids at Levers relaunched Pepsodent aka giving the brand a face-lift.

‘Dus nahi toh bas nahi’ – Pepsodent now fights 10!

The more the merrier!

Why just fight germs. Now let your toothpaste fight ……wait a minute. What are the 10 things that Pepsodent fights with?

Do you remember…..at least one of them? That’s the point. And that’s Pepsodent’s problem today.

Give the human mind one thing to remember and chances are high it would. Give it more than one, and it remembers none. Give it ten, and recalling them is anything but fun!

Germi-check was easy to remember. ‘Dus nahi toh bas nahi’ is easy to remember too but what’s difficult to remember is what those 10 things are. Consumers can’t recall. And when consumers can’t recall they don’t realize why they should buy the brand. And when they don’t realize that, they don’t actually buy the brand. Period.

It is already being evident. A recent press report quotes industry figures and states Pepsodent grew only 2% last year. The industry, though, grew by 14%.

A new growing brand like Pepsodent has stopped growing and is almost stagnating.

Surprised? I am. Not that it is stagnating but that it actually managed to grow in spite of the confused revamp.

By the way, Colgate grew, thank you. They have just one thing to establish – protection. And they are doing it well and doing fine in the market too.

More, in the context of brand positioning or promise, is no merry. Just a cause for worry!

Generic Brands

2007-04-25T09:38:00.000+05:30

A few weeks back I had asked if there are any other brands other than FedEx that have become generic and moved into the English dictionary.

Ram has come out with a whole bunch of brands (or should we call words) that have become generic and part of the lexicon.

Here is the list of brands that he has sent. Thanx Ram!

Roller blade
Walkman
Chap Stick
Dumpster
Velcro
Biro
Gramophone
Laser
Kerosene
Frisbee
Windsurfer
Escalator
Formica
Thermos
Linoleum

P.S: Ram, you addressed me as ‘Sir’ in your comments. Are you one of my unfortunate students or are you one of this blog's readers who is just being nice?

Sssshhhhhhhhhh Classified Ads!

2007-04-07T13:42:00.000+05:30

I have always wondered why they were called 'Classified Ads'. Maybe, this is why.

P.S: Click on the image to enlarge it if you have eyes that are older than you are!

Ad Quotes......again!

2007-03-30T20:09:00.000+05:30

Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

It’s advertiser’s job to make women unhappy with what they have.

Don’t tell my mother I work in an advertising agency; she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.

Never write an advertisement, which you wouldn't want your family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine.

In good times business people want to advertise. In bad times they have to.

Advertising has really changed our thinking. This morning my wife put on eye shadow, eyeliner and eyelashes. I said, "What are you doing to your eyes?" She said, "I'm making them look natural.”

Life of a Marketer

2007-03-19T12:38:00.000+05:30

One thing that strikes me when I lecture in B-Schools, apart from million other things that hit me with increasing regularity, is the aura surrounding the life of a marketing job in the minds of the students. Most, if not all, seem to think a marketing job is the next best thing to being a freelance gynecologist!

I don’t intend spoiling their party but I thought I could use this space to introspect a little bit about the life of an average marketer - those hard-working alcoholic workaholics who work 9 to 5 – working from 9 A.M to next day morning 5 A.M! Here is the piece – self-reflection lessons for marketers.

You lecture the paper-delivery boy on ways to improve his marketing skills.

You get all excited when it’s Sunday, so you can wear casual clothes to work.

You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

You know deep inside yourself when you say ‘the work is happening’ means only one thing – the work hasn’t even started.

You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.

You know the people at the airport and hotel better than your next-door neighbours.

You think a ‘half-a-day’ means leaving office at 5 o’clock.

You know but you don't realize it when you promise somebody you would meet him/her ‘first-thing-in-the-morning’ means meeting that person just minutes before lunchtime.

You remember the names of all your high-school classmates but not the guy whom you met just half an hour ago.

You are planning to take the weekend off – only that you planned it three years back!

And all those marketers who are reading this......if you wish to add more to this list based on your experiences, feel free to add them.

That's the whole point about this blog!

Just screw it !

2007-03-10T16:16:00.000+05:30

If the world cup is a fever, the talk about the new Nike ad is an epidemic. Most people I meet, and I hasten to add all of them are in marketing and advertising, can’t stop raving about the idea, ranting about its executional excellence, and ravishing unbridled praise on the 40 second wonder.

But I don’t see what’s in that ad that would make Nike sell more shoes in this country. Before I go on, let me clarify one thing. I am not commenting on the execution excellence or whatever of the ad. I am commenting on the strategy behind the commercial, or more precisely the lack of it. Execution is meaningless when a clear strategy is non-existent. And I don’t see any strategy behind the new Nike ad.

What is Nike? You would say ‘it’s an attitude’. Where does that attitude emanate from? Superior performance of Nike. And that is why ‘performance’ has been defined as the core of brand Nike. Not by me but by the custodians of the brand.

Now, tell me where is the performance highlighted in the ad. Does it say how Nike is the best? Does it describe why it is the best in its class? Or why you and me should be paying obscene amounts to buy a pair?

Aren’t ads about telling you and me why we should be buying it? Aren’t ads supposed to give a reason to believe?

Will you and me buy something just because it has an attitude? We might, when the brand is an affordable luxury. We might go to Barista to pick a cup of coffee at Rs.50 if we feel that helps us make a statement about ourselves. Selling coffee with ‘an attitude’ might do the trick then. But when we are supposed to cough up Rs. 2,000 or Rs. 3,000 (the hell, I don’t even know how much a Nike costs; talks enough about how much their ads make me want to enter a Nike showroom and buy one) don’t we want a solid reason for buying?

You might say, but don’t we know Nike is about performance. Who are the ‘we’? You, me and a couple of hundreds of those who make a living by marketing and advertising brands. Not the millions of others for whom Nike is another shoe. Even that is assuming if they are even aware of what the brand is all about. Don’t even try telling me Nike’s awareness and knowledge levels are high. After years of effort and millions of advertising, most leading Indian brands would be happy to have 60-70% awareness levels. And would love to have TOM scores even one-fourth of it.

Where does Nike stand? Zilch or pretty much close to it, when it comes to millions of potential customers across the country (the unfortunate ones who don’t belong to the glorified fields of marketing and advertising!)

The Nike ad doesn’t give me one good reason why I should be buying it. If it’s about selling an attitude, I am not sure how many of us would cough up thousands just for it. Performance is where the attitude comes from and that is missing in the ad.

But Nike ads in the U.S do the same thing you say. Yes, that is U.S, a country where Nike has been advertising for donkeys years; where they have established without a shade of doubt the superior quality of the shoes, the brilliance of its manufacturing and impeccability of its design and what not. They can afford to highlight attitude alone; the hell, they don’t even want to write the words NIKE in the ad. Sheer logo would do.

And this is India. We don’t know Nike. Or the reason it is supposed to be the best pair of shoes our hard-earned money can buy. We know Nike is a shoe, has the swoosh logo, and ‘just do it’ as its tagline. Nothing more, nothing less. Not enough reason for many to spend thousands on it.

Want more proof? Remember a brand called ‘Pleasure’. Yeah, the scooter from Hero Honda that said girls in India should buy it and asked the question ‘why should boys have all the fun’. Wonder why the scooter never started or sold. The answer is simple. What the brand said – ‘why should boys have all the fun’ – just defined who the target for the brand was. But it never gave a promise or a solid reason why that target should go and buy it. ‘Pleasure’ failed because it expected people to spend Rs.40,000 for asking the boys ‘why should you alone have so much fun’. Expensive statement for the consumer to make. The consumer chose to ask it by buying a Scooty, that gave them enough reason to believe; more than enough promise to buy!

Moreover, the Nike ad could be an ad for any other brand, for crying out loud. I will not be surprised if people mistook it for a Pepsi ad. Remember the ad has a few cricketers in their blues as well. So much for it!

Finally, those who rave about the Nike ad say the ad is trying to celebrate the spirit of cricket. At last count I found 4,578 ads doing the same thing during commercial breaks. Nike was No. 4,579!

You’ll never be fed up with FedEx

2007-02-23T09:09:00.000+05:30

Just found this one recently when someone pointed it to me. This is about FedEx – more precisely about its logo. Take a look at the logo first.

Have you ever spotted the 'arrow' between the letters ‘E’ and ‘x’ in this logo? The arrow was apparently introduced to underscore speed and precision, which are part of the positioning of the company. However, they chose to keep it subtle, or in other words, a subliminal symbol.

The creator of the logo, Lindon Leader, explains why this was done: “The power of the hidden arrow is simply that it is a hidden bonus. It is a positive-reverse optical kind of thing: either you see it or you don't. Importantly, not getting the punch line by not seeing the arrow does not reduce the impact of the logo's essential communication. The power of the logo and the FedEx marketing supporting the logo is strong enough to convey clearly FedEx brand positioning.”

On the other hand, if you do see the arrow, or someone points it out to you, you won't forget it. I can't tell you how many people have told me how much fun they have asking others "if they can spot 'something' in the logo.”

Besides, FedEx is also an interesting case where the brand consultants convinced the company to shorten their corporate name and logo from Federal Express to the popular abbreviation FedEx. Besides creating a shorter brand name, they reduced the amount of colour used on vehicles (planes, trucks, boxes, POP materials) and saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in costs.

Now that is some true 'value for money' consulting!

Also, FedEx is one of the very few brands in the world whose name is now used as a verb, officially endorsed by the top dictionaries of the world. I can only think of Xerox being the other one. Any other brand name that you can think of?

If this is not the pinnacle of branding, I would like to know what else is!

McElroy’s P&G Brand Management Memo

2007-02-12T09:41:00.000+05:30

This memo, written by a guy named Neil McElroy, a P&G manager, is part to defend the hiring of two new people, describes a brand management team consisting of a ‘brand man’, an ‘assistant brand man’, and several ‘field check-up’ men. The following excerpt describes the duties and responsibilities of the ‘brand man’.

What’s the big deal you ask? Nothing much except that it was the first instance of an organized attempt at designing a Brand Management Team in an organization. So what, you scoff.

This happened in the year 1931. Yes, much before even your dad was born. That’s P&G - the Cincinnati colossus that has monopolized innovation and best practices over many many years!

Here is the story.

Neil McElroy, working on P&G’s Camay was frustrated by being in the shadow of Ivory, put forth the idea of developing a brand management team. He argued that there were not enough people caring about Camay. The marketing effort was diffused and uncoordinated and lacked a budget commitment. The solution, creating a brand management team responsible for the marketing programme and its coordination with sales and manufacturing, is considered a key event in the history of branding!

And here is the memo he wrote.

Brand Man

1. Study carefully shipments of his brands by units.

2. Where brand development is heavy and where it is progressive, examine carefully the combination of effort that seems to be clicking and try to appeal this same treatment to other territories that are comparable.

3. Where brand development is light:
a. Study past advertising and promotional history of the brand: study the territory personality at first hand–both dealers and consumers–in order to find out the trouble.
b. After uncovering our weakness, develop a plan that can be applied to this local sore spot. It is necessary, of course not simply to work out the plan but also to be sure that the amount of money proposed can be expected to produce results at a reasonable cost per case.
c. Outline this plan in detail to the Division Manager under whose jurisdiction the weak territory is, obtain his authority and support for the corrective action.
d. Prepare sales helps and all other necessary material for carrying out the plan. Pass is on the districts. Work with salesmen while they are getting started. Follow through to the very finish to be sure that there is no letdown in sales operation of the plan.
e. Keep whatever records are necessary, and make whatever field studies are necessary to determine whether the plan has produced the expected results.

4. Take full responsibility, not simply for criticizing individual pieces of printed word copy, but also for the general printed word plans for his brands.

5. Take full responsibility for all other advertising expenditures on his brands (author’s note – in-store displays and promotions).

6. Experiment with and recommend wrapper (author’s note – packaging) revisions.

7. See each District Manager a number of times a year to discuss with him any possible faults in our promotion plans for that territory.

How to ask your boss for a salary increase?

2007-02-07T11:31:00.000+05:30

Here is for all those blokes who don't know how to ask their boss for a salary increase. And also what to expect from smart alec bosses! Courtesy: One of my enterprising students!

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary.

Dear Bo$$,

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of U.$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your’$ $incerely,
Norman $handy

The next day, the employee received this letter of reply.

Dear NOrman,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if U.S may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours,
Boss

How to Write a Good Advertising Positioning Statement

2007-01-21T10:25:00.000+05:30

Start by looking not at the product but at the position in the market that you want to occupy, in relation to competition.

Think about how the brand will answer the main consumer questions:
- What will it do for me that others will not?
- Why should I believe you?

Make sure the best people in your company work on the APS. After all, it’s the most important document you will produce on the way to getting advertising.

Let individuals have a go at their own version. Discuss and modify the alternatives to clarify everyone’s thoughts and then pick the best one.

Try to keep it short - make every word count and be as specific as possible – vagueness opens the way to confused executions.

Search for ways of making it competitive – if possible find some way of bringing in the word ‘only’ as long as it is relevant to the benefit.

Indicate clearly the weight of each element.

If emotional values, e.g., social confidence, mother care etc., are important to a brand they should influence the way the statement is written.

Encourage the contribution of your R&D or technical personnel whenever possible.

Get wholehearted commitment at all levels in your company and where relevant, procure coordination, before issuing an agreed APS.

Do not give it to the advertising agency until you are pretty sure you have it right and are prepared to defend it. Then let the agency make their own contribution, before you decide on a final version.

Begin every advertising review meeting with the APS, no matter how apparently well known it is.

Keep the APS up-do-date and give as careful consideration to change as you did to the original statement.

Ad Quotes

2007-01-13T10:59:00.001+05:30

Writing well, rule No. 1: Write well!
- Luke Sullivan, copywriter and author.

Imagination is one of the last remaining legal means to gain an unfair advantage over your competition.
- Tom McElligott, cofounder of a highly creative Minneapolis advertising agency.

I don’t think people read body copy. If the first five words of body copy aren’t “May we send you $700?” word six isn’t read!
- Luke Sullivan.

Great print ads can make you famous. Great TV ads can make you rich.
- Anonymous.

Your radio spot just interrupted your listener’s music. It’s like interrupting people having sex. If you’re going to lean in the bedroom to say something, make it good: “Hey your car’s on fire.”- Luke Sullivan.

Marketing Myopia

2006-12-29T09:31:00.000+05:30

How can a company ensure its continued growth? In 1960, a seminal Harvard Business Review journal article, ‘Marketing Myopia’ answered that question in a new and challenging way by urging organizations to define their industries broadly to take advantage of growth opportunities. Mr. Theodore Levitt, the article’s author, showed how they declined inevitably as technology advanced because they defined themselves too narrowly.

He posited that to continue growing, companies must ascertain and act on their customers’ needs and desires, not bank on the presumptive longevity of their products. The success of the article testifies to the validity of its message. Written in 1960, it has been widely quoted and anthologized, and HBR has sold more than 265,000 reprints of it. The author of 14 subsequent articles in HBR, Mr. Levitt passed away a few months back.

As a student of marketing I have always been amazed at the almost visionary zeal with which he proposed theories and concepts and the longevity of many of them. As a mark of respect to the departed soul, here is an extract from Marketing Myopia. If you are impressed, and I can’t see why you shouldn’t, I urge you to go find and run through the entire article and, if possible, Mr. Levitt’s entire collection as well. To get you started, here is the extract.

Every major industry was once a growth industry. But some that are now riding a wave of growth enthusiasm are very much in the shadow of decline. Others, which are thought of as seasoned growth industries, have actually stopped growing. In every case the reason growth is threatened, slowed, or stopped is not because the market is saturated. It is because there has been a failure of management.

The failure is at the top. The executives responsible for it, in the last analysis, are those who deal with broad aims and policies. Thus:

The railroads did not stop growing because the need for passenger and freight transportation declined. That grew. The railroads are in trouble today not because the need was filled by others (cars, trucks, airplanes, even telephones) but because it was not filled by the railroads themselves. They let others take customers away from them because they assumed themselves to be in the railroad business rather than in the transportation business. The reason they defined their industry incorrectly was that they were railway-oriented instead of transportation-oriented; they were product-oriented instead of customer-oriented.

Hollywood barely escaped being totally ravished by television. Actually, all the established film companies went through drastic reorganizations. Some simply disappeared. All of them got into trouble not because of TV’s inroads but because of their own myopia. As with the railroads, Hollywood defined its business incorrectly. It thought it was in the movie business when it was actually in the entertainment business. Movies implied a specific, limited product. This produced a fatuous contentment, which from the beginning led producers to view TV as a threat. Hollywood scorned and rejected TV when it should have welcomed it as an opportunity - an opportunity to expand the entertainment business.

The view that an industry is a customer-satisfying process, not a goods-producing process, is vital for all businesspeople to understand. An industry begins with the customer and his or her needs, not with a patent, a raw material, or a selling skill. Given the customer’s needs, the industry develops backwards, first concerning itself with the physical delivery of customer satisfactions. Then it moves back further to creating the things by which these satisfactions are in part achieved.

How these materials are created is a matter of indifference to the customer, hence the particular form of manufacturing, processing, or what-have-you cannot be considered as a vital aspect of the industry. Finally, the industry moves back still further to finding the raw materials necessary for making its products.

In short, the organization must learn to think of itself not as producing goods or services but as buying customers, as doing the things that will make people want to do business with it.

Creative Briefing Format

2006-12-10T11:20:00.000+05:30

Exceptionally good creative is a result of extremely well-thought out strategy. And the sun rises in the east. Nothing new, I admit, but good creative development process begins with a well-written creative brief. How to write a good creative brief is the subject of this edition.

Advertising professionals, excuse me please. You guys probably know how to write good briefs. But for those who wish to access a good template here is the format from one of world's most respected ad agencies - BBDO. Here goes it.

Assignment: The job on hand

- Campaign / Single ad
- TV commercial – Length
- Print ad – Size, Colour
- Newspaper or magazine
- Outdoor, Promotion, Radio, Integrated Campaign
- What do we have to do, what’s the budget, and when do we have to do it by

Include relevant data

Target: For whom our brand will be a viable alternative

- Not just demographics – psychographics
- What are they like as human beings?
- What are their hopes, fears, and ambitions?
- What do they expect from the category?
- How do they use it?
- What needs do they have that aren’t being met?

Be as informative and as insightful as possible

Competitive Frame: Who is our competition?

-What are they saying?
- What is the source of business?
- What will the consumer do or buy if they don’t buy us?

Not just a list of brands – could include habits and attitudes

Consumer Belief: The deeply held perceptions and feelings

- What is the single most important thing our prospects believe or feel about our brand or the category?

What is it that the advertising must change or reinforce?

Marketing Objective: The things that we are aiming for

Be as specific and clear-cut as possible.

Advertising Objective: What we want to make happen due to advertising

- Raise awareness
- Put on list
- Encourage trial
- Repeat purchase
- Change perceptions
- Reconsider our brand
- Use it more often
- Use in a new way
- Remain satisfied

Be specific, again.

Key Selling Message: The one thing we want to tell them

- In the light of the Consumer Belief in the defined Competitive Frame, what is the single-minded promise we will make to the defined Target that will persuade them to act in the way that will achieve the Advertising Objective?
- What do we want them to think, feel or believe as a result of the Advertising?

What do we have to have an idea about?

Support: Relevant reasons why we can make the promise

- Competitive physical or perceptual advantages
- Not just a list of features, or of all the brand’s good points

The reason to believe our claims.

Brand Personality: Aspect of personality that the ad must reflect

- A brief, vivid description
- Not just a list of adjectives

Preferably, describable by one word or phrase.

Budget / Timing: The budget for the whole exercise

What are the time frames?

Mandatory Inclusions: The musts or must nots be included in the ad

- Legal restrictions, logo usage, campaign themes
- The fewer the better

None, if possible!

Criteria for Evaluation: Measurable action points

The parameters by which the creative would be evaluated.

Literature Review - 2

2006-11-28T07:44:00.000+05:30

Communications Imperatives for New Products
Journal of Advertising Research, Kirby Andrews

This article throws some light on the standing issue of what is the best advertising for new products. The author describes a research study done in conjunction with clients of his research / consulting firm.

19 firms had cooperated in the study, and offered a total of 50 new products that had been marketed in some 10 major product categories. For each product there was a commercial that had been deemed sales-successful or not (27 were, 23 were not). Most products were parity products, and only 14 were genuinely different.

Each commercial was analyzed for content: the analysts sought 2,121 criteria, using computer programming, for each segment of each commercial that had separate meaning. This long list was worked down to 84 criteria that seemed to be important. They differentiated the ads. All 50 commercials were then analyzed against these 84 factors, and scored. Lastly, the advertisers then supplied the success label for each commercial, and further analysis yielded the final data.

It was found that there's a direct relationship between the structure and content of an introductory commercial for a new product and its ability to stimulate trial (the prime measure of success for new product advertising). 9 communication imperatives were found, and 85% of the successful commercials incorporated all 9 of them. Only 13% of unsuccessful commercials did so.

Of the 9 imperatives, 5 are basic advertising communications objectives and involve:

1. Capturing attention
2. Building interest
3. Communicating clearly
4. Creating awareness
5. Meeting advertiser strategy

The other 4, called introductory factors hold more interest. A new product advertisement should:

1. Communicate that something is different about the product
2. Position the brand difference in relation to the product category. What type of product is this?
3. Communicate that the product difference is beneficial to consumers.
4. Support the above two claims: difference and beneficial. The support may be product demonstration, testimonial, guarantee etc.,

The study also points out the surprising number of commercials from the large firms involved that did not meet the 5 basic objectives and did not offer the 4 introductory factors.

The study, though, did not go on to speculate whether these findings would apply to non-television goods and services.

Why don't you replicate this study in the Indian context using Indian products and advertising? Would be useful to the marketing and advertising fraternity, to say the least.

Literature Review - 1

2006-11-21T08:11:00.000+05:30

The Characteristics of high-trial new product advertising.

Journal of Advertising Research, David Olson

This journal article deals with determining what constitutes good new product advertising. It describes a study done at Leo Burnett Co., a large advertising agency.

First, researchers went back through agency files and found 65 commercials that they could say achieved high trial, average trial, or low trial. Second, they had consumers view each commercial and rate whether 52 statements applied to it. Further analysis sorted these 52 statements to 7 basic dimensions of advertising:

1. News: how informative was the ad?
2. Relevance: how personally meaningful?
3. Purchase Interest
4. Stimulation: how entertaining or interesting was the ad?
5. Empathy: how involving was the ad?
6. Confusion
7. Familiarity: how much just like other ads?

The high trial commercials scored better than the medium and low-trial commercials across all seven factors. Still further analysis of the data determined that using just two of those seven factors permitted 66% success in predicting trial for the new product. Adding the other five only pushed this up to 75%.

The first of the two very strong factors was Relevance. Relevance is measured by five of the original 52 statements.

1. The commercial showed me the product has certain advantages
2. The product is important to me
3. The commercial reminded me that I am dissatisfied
4. During the commercial I thought about how the product can be useful to me
5. The commercial made me feel the product is right for me

Naturally, if the product is poor those five statements will be hard to get yes answers on. Good advertising is not usually thought capable of selling poor products. But, given good product concepts, the advertising should say so. If it does, the five statements are agreed to, and the relevance score goes up.

The second major factor was Stimulation. Its presence is measured by answers to the following six of the original 52 statements:

1. The persons in the commercial captured my attention
2. The enthusiasm of the commercial was catching
3. The commercial was amusing
4. The commercial was playful
5. The commercial was fun to watch and listen to
6. I thought it was clever and quite entertaining

The chances of obtaining high trial are only about 10% if the commercial is below average on both relevance and stimulation. It is 25 – 30% if the commercial is above average on one or the other factor. It is 50% if above average o both factors.

In a second qualitative phase of the agency’s study, analysis was undertaken to study how creative people view these two factors, and how they may interrelate in a given ad. A search of the agency’s archives yielded ten products where there were two different commercials with different relevance scores. The commercials were shown to creative staffers in the agency and each person was asked to identify the commercial that had the higher relevance. In most cases they were able to do so (without using consumers or the five of the fifty two original statements to guide them).

The author cautions that the above analysis should not be taken to mean that advertising could be written by formula. How one creates relevance is still an art, but it appears an ad should have lots of relevance (and stimulation too), and their presence can be measured.

Indian Readership Survey: An Introduction

2006-11-11T21:42:00.000+05:30

All of your have heard about it; most of you have read about it; a few know about it. And for the remaining who wishes to know more about it, here is a brief introduction to the Indian Readership Survey (IRS).

IRS is essentially a readership measurement study. The prime objective of the study is to collect readership information from a cross-section of individuals, in great detail, so as to present a true and unbiased picture of their readership habits. On the media front, it also captures information on television and cinema viewership, radio listnership and internet usage. In addition to this, IRS also captures information on various FMCG (Fast Moving Consumer Goods) products’ usage and consumption and durable ownership amongst households and individuals. Since media and product ownership / consumption information is captured from the same household, it enables linkages between the media and product data.

Fieldwork

IRS fieldwork, which lasts for a year, is continuous in nature. It is broken up into two rounds with a balanced sample. In a typical year, the first round’s field work starts from July to December followed by the second round in January to June. Data is reported on a moving annual total i.e., the average of two consecutive rounds.

Scope – All India

IRS 2005 (Round 1 + 2) has a sample size of 235,428 covering 1,318 towns and 3,084 villages.

The entire sample is spread equally between the two rounds. Individual reporting is done for 70+ cities that includes all one million population towns (35) and a few other cities of strategic importance to our users.

Key Findings

North has the highest concentration of SEC A households (13.3%). South is the lowest(7.7%).

Not surprisingly, North has the highest number of illiterate housewives (59.6%), and South has the least (40%).

West has the highest concentration of working housewives (48.5%) and North the least (21.6%). Maybe this explains why most North Indian housewives are obese!

For those who are still ignorant about the way India lives here are some penetration figures. No, not the number of times Indians have sex damn it! These are penetration figures among households, rather!
TV: 40 +%
Pressure cooker: 31 - 40%
Refrigerator: 11 – 20%
Motorbike and CD player: 6 – 10%
Automobile and Personal computers: 1 – 2%
A/C, Vacuum cleaner, Microwave, Digital Camera: < 1%

The top 10 channels both in terms of reach as well as viewers base are South-based. In fact only 25% of the top 20 vernacular channels are non-South.

The MNC’s are trying hard to lure the Indian consumer, but it is still the age-old Indian brand of refrigerator – Godrej that has acquired its space in maximum number of households in the country, be it urban or rural across the zones.

Source: Hansa Research and MRUC booklet. www.hansaresearch.com / www.mruc.net

Bridged Positioning: A game of bridge...again!

2006-10-27T16:29:00.000+05:30

Regulars can recall my post on bridged positioning some time ago. If you can't recall it or haven't read it, check Archives 2006-05-07. I had listed a few bridged concepts then – integrated concepts that are both functional and psychological. I found a few more last week, courtesy the class of 2006 Amrita School of Business, Coimbatore.

Here is it...

Macho
Taste
Style
Enjoyment
Trust
Energy
Durability
Sexy
Sophistication
Adventure

The Advertising Essentials - Part 3

2006-10-20T06:54:00.000+05:30

Here is the final part. The final word on the subject as well!

7. Be Executionally Excellent

Particular care must be taken with product, preparation and consumption sequences, and pack shots. We must never forget that we are selling products, which people are going to eat or drink. The product must always be presented in the most appropriate and appetite-appealing way.

Consumption shots should realistically communicate this in a totally credible way. Of course, there are exceptions, if you were to advertise for a brand of condoms to name one such!

The development of proprietary product sequences that are properly integrated into the communication (with appropriate voice-overs to underline a product-based consumer benefit) can help to enhance perceptions of our products’ superior quality. Unique and proprietary product shots and mouth-watering consumption sequences that appeal to our senses help to create appetite appeal, to differentiate our products and to motivate purchase.

Pack shots should usually also include the product as it is meant to be consumed, and should be given sufficient emphasis to be impactful, and remind consumers of what to look for on the shelf.

There is a skill in achieving high production standards in print and on film, and there are experts who can help. In order to achieve the peak of perfection, we must be prepared to invest in production budgets, and not be tempted to cut corners. This does not mean that we can substitute strong simple ideas with spectacular shows that hide the lack of a creative idea.

In summary, the questions to ask and answer are:

1. Have we done everything possible to ensure the best product shots?
2. Are the consumption shots realistic?
3. Does the product come across as truly enjoyable?
4. Are the product shots / consumption sequences proprietary to the brand, and consistent with building brand equity?
5. Have we clearly communicated a consumer benefit via the portrayal of the product and its consumption?
6. Is our brand highly visible in order to secure 100% correct brand identification?

8. Bring About a Sale

The unequivocal raison d’etre of all communication is to bring a profitable sale. There is no other reason for investing in brand communication. Although different forms of communication have shorter or longer-term effects on sales, all should be evaluated over time on their ability to build brand equity with our consumers, and in so doing bring about a sale.

In general, we should seek to create communications which have the consumers’ interests at heart, that are involving in content and execution, that are original and provocative, that get talked about, and have the “must see again” factor. In everything we do, we should always strive to build a place for our brands in people’s lives…in the long term.

In summary, the key question to ask and answer is:
Have the right tracking study mechanisms been put in place to measure the contribution of communications (advertising and other forms of communication) to bringing about a sale?

The Advertising Essentials - Part 2

2006-10-08T08:45:00.000+05:30

Hope you savoured the first part of this series. As promised here is the second. The best is yet to come aka the third part. That will appear next week.

4. Be Highly Visible

It costs the same to run a TV commercial whether it is dull and boring or whether it is relevant and involving. A good ad is the best media discount possible. An original creative idea is worth more than a big budget. In fact it’s arguable that the better the creative content, the less you need to spend on media. Repetition of a poor ad won’t do any good, whereas few exposures of a truly creative and effective ad will bring a high return on investment.

The first rule of all our communications is that it must have impact. However, that impact must be relevant to our brand. People aren’t waiting to read our ad or see our commercial. We are intruders into the living room. Sufficient impact to get the attention of our target consumer has to be the ‘price of entry’ for every piece of communication.

Being highly visible has a lot to do with keeping our message and its execution simple. Too often we make our message hard to understand. This happens particularly when we over-compensate for the lack of a single-minded ‘Strong Ideas’ by bombarding the viewer with a mass of quick cuts of complicated images. While we understand what we’re doing, often the consumer doesn’t.

Other ways to break through are to develop additional communications channels and to be more innovative in the use of media.

In summary, the questions to ask and answer are:

1. I know this is interesting for me (I work on the brand) but would it grab the attention of someone reading the paper, driving their car, walking in the street or watching TV?
2. What can be done to make it even more impactful? (In a way that’s good for the brand)

5. Be Locally Relevant to the Core Target

The communication must be built on, and relate to the framework laid down in the Brand Positioning Statements. However these should be interpreted so that they are absolutely relevant to the local needs. Only by fully understanding the consumer, their habits and daily behaviour, as well as their psychological and emotional feelings, can we hope to find compelling messages that tap into their minds in a convincing and believable way.

While it’s vital to make our communication strategies 100% relevant, it’s equally important to make the communication content and executions 100% relevant. Impact alone achieves little in developing brand salience, propensity to buy, and overall brand equity. What’s needed is impact with relevance. We need to bring the strategy to life in an impactful way. We need to catch the eye by planting a relevant idea in the consumer’s mind that produces the sort of reaction: “this is just right for me and the way I live my life.”

In summary, the questions to ask and answer are:

1. Do we know enough about the consumer?
2. Who specifically are we addressing for? For example, existing users? New users? Lapsed users? Light users? Heavy users?
3. What message will motivate them most of all to buy our brand?
4. What is holding them back?
5. Have we included a clear, relevant consumer benefit?
6. Are the necessary research tracking mechanisms in place to evaluate progress?

6. Be Likeable

Every piece of communication for any of our brands is also a communication for the company as whole as well. Our communication must acknowledge this. All brand communication should, by tone of voice and by involving the consumer, help to enhance the appeal of the company too. If people like the way you talk to them, they are predisposed to like you.

Just as we want to be liked as a company, it is equally important that people like our brands, as well as our advertising and the full range of our brand communications. We should aim to achieve the best scores in tracking research for ‘likeability’ of our brands / our communications vs. our competitors.

While we need to be responsible, it doesn't mean that our communication should be boring. On the contrary, we should aim for communications that are innovative, surprising, exciting, human and emotional.

In summary, the questions to ask and answer are:

1. Does the communication reflect well on our company?
2. Does it position our brands as relevant to today?
3. Does it build Brand Equity?
4. Will it be admired, talked about and liked?
5. Are the tracking research mechanisms in place to evaluate?

The Advertising Essentials – Part 1

2006-09-29T21:13:00.000+05:30

What I have here are ‘The Eight Essentials’ - management tools and criteria to evaluate creative work prior to production. They are also criteria to measure the effectiveness of our brand communications. I know everyone, and his uncle, in the advertising industry knows all these. But I wonder why we still produce advertising that ends up selling only the creative people who worked on it and not the brand it is supposed to sell in the first place! Which means…. we need to revisit these basics once again. The authorship is not mine; they only have my endorsement!

This might be too long for one blog and hence I wish to spread it over three parts. Read the first now and savour it for now. The sequels will be releasing in a PC monitor near you…shortly!

1. Address the Key Business Issue

Before starting to develop a communications strategy, we need to understand the business issues that the brand faces. Our communications can then be developed in the context of our business goals and brand strategy.

In the context of the brand’s long-term performance, we need to isolate the single most important issue. For example, is to build share against competitive brands? Or, in cases where our brand dominates a category, is it to build the total market? Is it to attract new young users? In many markets too much of our communication is directed at reassuring existing users, and too little is directed at recruiting new users.

The definition of the role of the communication will also have a significant influence on the choice of communication vehicle and medium, as well as the level of investment.

In summary, the questions to ask and answer are:

1. What is the purpose of the communication? Why are we doing it?
2. Does the content of the communication relate to the key business issue?
3. Is the communication medium the right one to address the business issue?
4. Is the investment at the correct level to tackle the business issue?
5. Is this the right brand to tackle the issue?

2. Build Consistent Long-term Brand Equity

For brands to succeed in today’s more competitive environment, it is more necessary than ever before to build consistently powerful brand equity. To do this requires careful management of the way the brand behaves and the way the brand communicates. This is a disciplined, continuous and consistent process of building greater brand salience and greater brand relevance.

The publication of Brand Positioning Statements and Communication Guidelines for each of the major strategic brands provides a focus for all brand communication in all markets. This will ensure consistency and will also ensure that all our brand communication delivers a clear, relevant and competitive consumer benefit.

Our communication should be bringing the consumer closer to our brands and enhancing the quality status of our brands. We want people to feel that our brands are playing a real role in their lives, and are relevant to them. We want them to acknowledge that our brands are of superior quality. By achieving this, our brand equity will be nurtured and strengthened.

In summary, the questions to ask and answer are:

1. Is every piece of communication derived from and reflective of the Brand Positioning Statement?
2. Is the brand communication strategy locally relevant?
3. Does the communication clearly offer a relevant consumer benefit and enhance perceptions of product quality?
4. Have we the right tracking research in place to monitor our progress in building brand equity?

3. Be Focused on a Single-minded ‘Strong Idea’

A ‘Strong Idea’ helps to make the most of our competitive advantage of having the best marketing communications that are measurably superior to our competitors. A ‘Strong Idea’ binds our communications together so that they are cohesive and consistent. Above all, a ‘Strong Idea’ is proprietary. Strong ideas make brands look strong. Strong Ideas build Strong Brands.

What constitutes a ‘Strong Idea’? First, it must be related to the brand. It must involve the brand, in order to get branded memorability. Second, it must be related to, or evolved from Brand Positioning Statement to get relevant communication that is in line with the brand strategy. Third, it must be involving for the consumer and hold their attention, so that it anchors the brand and brand message in consumers’ minds. Fourth, it should be unique. We need proprietary ideas that we can own. Fifth, our ‘Strong Idea’ should work across all forms of communication; not just all forms of advertising media, but all communication vehicles including sponsorship, events, promotions, sampling and relationship marketing. Sixth, it should be enduring over time.

Having developed a ‘Strong Idea’, the task is to keep it refreshed and relevant. The challenge is to strengthen it with every new piece of communication.

In summary, the questions to ask and answer are:

1. Is the idea well branded, relevant to the brand and the consumer, involving and proprietary?
2. Does every piece of new communication build on the Idea?
3. Is all the brand communication properly orchestrated around the Idea?
4. Are the research mechanisms in place to evaluate the growing strength of the Idea?

Advertising Poetry

2006-09-17T19:55:00.000+05:30

Who ever said Advertising is poetry probably meant only this! I scavenged this piece from the net. Author unknown.

When the client moans and sighs,
Make his logo twice the size.

When the client's hopping mad,
Put his picture in the ad.

If he still should prove refractory,
Add a picture of his factory!

Ad Quotes

2006-08-27T09:22:00.000+05:30

Advertising is fun. Might not be for the client who probably thinks the entire advertising fraternity should be shot dead. (Rightly so too!) But for those in advertising it’s a whole lot fun.

I was in advertising for more than a brief while and haven’t repented for it yet! I guess I will, eventually! Till then, here are some nice quotes on advertising. Enjoy!

‘Early to bed, early to rise
Work like hell and advertise’.
- Ted Turner.

‘Beer commercials are so patriotic: Made the American Way. What does that have to do with America? Is that what America stands for? Feeling sluggish and urinating frequently’?
- Evelyn Waugh

‘Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find outside of an advertising agency’.
- Raymond Chandler

‘In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for the Wonder Bra. Is that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to women's breasts’.

- Jay Leno

‘Advertising is a valuable economic factor because it is the cheapest way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless’.
- Sinclair Lewis

‘Advertising sure brings quick results. Last week I advertised for a night watchman and the same night my safe was robbed’.
- Anonymous

‘If advertising had a little more respect for the public, the public would have a lot more respect for advertising’.

- James Randolph Adams

‘As to the idea that advertising motivates people, remember the Edsel’.

- Peter Drucker

‘A’d Joke!

2006-08-07T08:30:00.000+05:30

A mother had three virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Since mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: ‘Nescafe’!

Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar. It said: ‘Good till the last drop’.

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans".

Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: ‘Extra Long. King Size’.

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways”.

Mom took out a latest magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for South African Airways.

The ad said: ‘Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways’.

Mom fainted!