Roadblock to nowhere

I don’t consider myself well equipped to write about media (or for that marketing) but a media innovation being praised by all and sundry caught my attention and I decided to make it the topic of this belated post!

If you didn’t know already, on September 17 all consumers who watched any of Star’s 10 channels saw only HUL brands being advertised. HUL had, to use a media term, roadblocked all advertising time and space in Star’s ten channels and had only their ads for the entire day.

The world stopped revolving and exclaimed ‘my god’. The entire nation stood up and applauded the most earth shattering event since this nation became independent. ‘HUL has done it again’, screamed the who’s who of marketing.

Done what? This mind of mine fails to grasp the outcome of all this. So a few million people watched only HUL ads all day, fine. But, how many of them felt they were watching only HUL ads. Or how many of us know which company makes most of the ads that we watch or the bulk of the brands that we buy.

Do we know who makes Oral B?
Do we know who makes Medimix?
Do we know who makes D’Cold?

Do we care to know?

It is not just about a simple case of buying inventory from Star. The premium cost for such a strategy is obscenely high and my media sources say it would have been about 100%. Businessworld magazine estimates HUL’s ad-spends that day at about Rs.1,000 crores!

So what did HUL actually achieve by spending a fortune? People got to see only Surf or Lifebuoy or Pears or whatever that was dished out. To the average Mrs. Housewife it’s just another day of ads on TV. Even assuming she never switched to any other channel– Zee or Sony or Colours - during ad breaks, what would have she got? Agreed, she probably didn’t get to see any HUL competitive ads that day. So what? She saw them earlier and she would be seeing them the next day; the day after. Why need to spend Rs.1,000 crores for this? Isn't this the classic case of putting-all-advertising-eggs-in-one-media-basket?

Has recall of HUL brands increased tremendously post this? I doubt. HUL has yet to comment on that. Knowing HUL, they would have done a study by now to ascertain the impact. Their silence screams the deafening impact of their media innovation. Zilch!

You see, this media roadblock strategy might gain people’s attention if a single brand does it with a single message on a single day. For instance, Hutch used this roadblock strategy in 2007 in Star, when they changed the name to Vodafone. All day, a single focused message that Vodafone wanted to achieve – ‘Hutch is now Vodafone’. Maybe that made sense. But different brands of the same company being advertised on the same day – to the consumer, is just another set of advertising. Spending a fortune on it is strategically foolish and creatively futile.

I wondered why any company would even do this. Was I missing something in all this? So I called my media friend – one of the most respected media minds in the country – certainly one of the few I respect - and posed him this question.

Why would a company spend Rs.1,000 crores on just one set of channels on a single day? Who would benefit?

The soft-spoken friend of mine smiled and said, ‘First, the brand manager would. He or she would show it as something different that they attempted and executed. Secondly, the media agency would have earned brownie points and a fat media commission as well. And thirdly Star TV, which would have made a quiet killing’.

But what about the brands, I enquired. He smiled even more and said, ‘Who cares about them’!

Sound bytes bites!

I have been caught up with work, travel and other such mundane things these past few days. That, coupled with my legendary laziness, is the reason why I have not updated my blog - not that you care I know!

As a stop gap, as a relief to your eyes, yet as a pain to your ears, here's a link to some audio bytes. I was interviewed in Aaha FM - a popular Tamil FM channel in Madras, owned and run by Kumudham magazine - a few weeks back on, what else, marketing.

If you have a few minutes - 45 of them to be precise - click on the link and check out yours truly.

A caveat though: The interview is in Tamil. For those who can't understand it and wouldn't feel like listening to it - lucky you!


http://www.archive.org/details/BadriSeshadriKizhakkuPodcastWeek6
_SatheeshKrishnamurthytalkingtoSatyanarayanonMarketin

The Upside of Slowdowns

It looks like the worst of the economic slowdown is behind us. Some economists have predicted the beginning of a recovery early next year. Agreed, economists get it wrong most of the time. As they say, economists correctly predicted ten of the last three recessions! Let’s hope, for our sake, they are right about recovery.

Everyone and his mistress have talked about the pains and problems with economic slowdowns. Every cloud has the proverbial silver lining. Is there anything for us marketers to learn from this slowdown? I think there is. And here are three.

1. To begin with, most of us were referring to this lull as recession. By God, at least this country of ours was far from it. We were actually growing albeit much lower than last year. We had been growing so fast and so fine all these last ten years or so that most of us were not happy when the growth slowed down. The slowdown made one thing clear to everyone, if ever clarity was needed: ‘We Indians want growth; and growth at a galloping pace. Anything slow and we are not willing to accept.’ For a poor and illiterate country that has just started to embrace open markets and globalization, it’s a heartening thing to note.

2. Premium brands are the ones that seem to take a pounding during economic slowdowns. Honda was hammered. Toyota was traumatized. Mercedes Benz was murdered. But did you notice Maruti managed! While their premium brands slowed down, the company sales itself didn’t. The company’s mass brands grew even if not by much. It clearly shows and comprehensively proves: Don’t put all the eggs in one basket. If you have premium brands in your portfolio, try having mid-sized ones and low-priced warriors too as part of your product mix. Come slowdown, your premium brands would wobble; but your mass brands will wiggle you out.

3. Come an economic slowdown and marketers seem to cut costs – and that includes cutting down on the easiest one to cut – advertising. A study by Business Line has proved that all those companies that actually bucked the slowdown and increased their advertising spend were the ones that actually grew during this slowdown. Makes sense, doesn’t it? When everyone cuts down their noise levels, even if you whisper you are heard loud, by the ones that matter most – customers. Remember, tightening your belt during a slowdown is fine; but too much of a tightening and you start suffocating. Loosen it a bit during a lull and you might well laugh all the way to the bank.

For the sake of all of us and this country, here’ hoping for an early and speedy recovery: Three cheers to the economy, up up hooray!

Customer Disservice

It’s increasingly becoming fashionable for marketers and marketing students to talk about customer service. If you were to sit in any of the hundreds of boardrooms across this country or if you were to attend a marketing class in any of the thousands of B-schools that dot this nation, you can’t help but think there is an overriding obsession with customer service among the past, present and potential marketers of India.

Is it true? Are we obsessed with customer service?

We are not even close. When it comes to customer service, we are light years away. We are probably better than we were during the socialist era of the past but we still have miles to travel.

Let me list two examples here. These are not run-of-the-mill brands that I am talking about. These are India’s most respected. If this is what the best of India has to offer when it comes to customer service, you can work out the math yourself about others.

These examples are not figments of somebody’s imagination. They are as experienced by yours truly!

Tata Sky: If you were to add a new package to your existing list of channels, all you have to do is just SMS from your registered mobile to Tata Sky customer care centre. A piece of cake you say. But wait till you wish to drop the same package and you would realize the shenanigans of Tata Sky. Nah, you can’t just SMS, you have to call only. It would take an eternity to reach a customer care representative. And till you reach that abominable snowman, the Mr. Big foot, be prepared to listen to hours of bilingual barrage promoting Tata Sky’s scintillating subscription packages and promotions.

HDFC Bank: Okay, you need a loan; all of us do and there are these modern and magnificently customer-oriented private banks that would come running if you care to just lift the phone and call. A representative would come home, assist you in filling the forms, help you with paperwork and have your demand draft delivered in less than 48 hours flat. Great, isn’t it? Only till you wish to prepay the loan. Try calling him and he would only ask you to visit their regional office that could be across the town, if you are lucky or could well be in another city. Travel there and your travails have just begun. You might have to wait in queue for hours, if not days. And the best part is when you ask the teller after repaying your loan what happens to your post-dated cheques that you had submitted. With as much expression as a corpse you would find him or her say, “Some post-dated cheques might still be presented for payment, and if it happens do go and talk to the concerned branch.” And before you try reasoning with the teller you would find him/her say, “Speak to the enquiry counter, not here; next. “

Before I sign off, I would like to share with you what I read long ago about a department store in Michigan U.S. Apparently the store has a plaque right at the entrance of the store that serves as directions to its employees and as an advisory to its customers. Here is what the plaque says:

Marketing Rules Here:

Rule No.1: The customer is always right.

Rule No.2: If you think the customer is wrong, read Rule No.1

Where are the Zoozoos?

Not too long ago, all of us were talking about the Zoozoos - this blog and yours truly included, though not in the same way most others did.

Where are the Zoozoos now? Whatever happened to them?

The pug is back. Does that mean the Zoozoos are gone….forever? All this raises more questions than I can find answers.

>> The Zoozoos, I am told in an interview by someone at Vodafone, were brought in place of the pug coz they wanted to create something spectacular since the pug reminded people of Hutch and not as much Vodafone. Now, what caused this change? Why bring the pug back? To remind people of Hutch again?

>> First it was ‘Orange’ to ‘Pink’; then it was Hutch to Vodafone; later it was ‘Pug’ to ‘Zoozoos’; and now back to the ‘Pug’ again. So should we expect another change – ‘Vodafone’ back to ‘Hutch’?

>> Isn’t brand and brand communication all about consistency? If you keep creating colours and characters only to drop them the next quarter, are you not being consistent…….in being inconsistent?

>> If the Zoozoos created huge hype, hoopla and hysteria, why drop them? Does that mean Vodafone now realizes all the noise created was created for the Zoozoos and not as much for Vodafone? Did you notice, all of us were saying ‘Did you see the Zoozoo ad’ and not ‘Did you see the new Vodafone ad’ which is how it should have been in the first place?

Isn’t there a lesson for marketers in all this? There is; and it’s easy to figure out what it is. So easy that it doesn’t bear mention here.

Ad guys or Mad guys?

We all know 20-20 cricket is a funny game. But it seems advertisers and sponsors of the sport are as funny if not more.

The advertisers who had committed advertising and sponsorship monies to ‘ESPN Star Sport’ (ESS) for the recently concluded 20-20 World Cup want them to refund their monies or at least reduce their ad rates for subsequent tournaments.

Why?

Apparently the semi-finals and finals attracted less fans and even lesser eye balls than were expected. You see, India had crashed out of the tournament (and rightly so) and hence the Indian public had lost interest in the tournament and gate crashed in to other parties and had ditched the World Cup. This had affected the fortunes of all the brands that had committed crores of money to ESS. Now, they want ESS to refund their monies or reduce their ad rates for subsequent tournaments.

Does it mean that ESS was solely responsible for India not entering the semi-finals? Should ESS pay for the sins of money-hungry cricketers who masked their injuries, faked good health and screwed up Indian’s chances? Shouldn’t the advertisers realize the possibilities involved in India not making to the last eight before committing their monies? After all, didn’t the same thing happen just a couple of years ago at the Caribbean World Cup when India could not even enter the second stage?

This idea of asking ESS to refund or reduce is sheer stupidity and utter nonsense.

Suppose, if India has made to the semis and, God forbid, the finals and had played Pakistan, and assuming the whole of India had sat in front of the TV and watched it, would these same sponsors pay more than they had committed for the increased viewership? The hell they would.

The advertisers took a gamble and it didn’t pay off. Expecting to get reimbursed for the follies they committed is nothing short of nonsense. ESS should shove the request up the advertisers back. And show their middle finger too for good measure!

This is a true story...

…that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-care executive. It teaches us many things: the importance of customer service, the outcome of thinking differently; and the value of deciphering the bizarre!

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: 'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family: ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"

The Pontiac President was understandably sceptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.

The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavour. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavour, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavours were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavour.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!

The engineer quickly came up with the answer: vapour lock.

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavours allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.

You see, even crazy looking problems are sometimes real. And all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

Don't just say it is impossible without putting a sincere effort. What really matters is your attitude and your perception.

Remember, ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.